My thoughts and deliberations...!

Arundhati Roy - the "leftist" Ann Coulter of India!

2010-11-02T13:34:00.000-07:00

Again, it's been a long time since I wrote - I just have not had the push or inspiration for blogging. But, today something caught my attention - my friend was watching some videos on Arundhati Roy's opinions on Kashmir and I was outraged by the comments Ms.Roy made about how the "militarised colonialists" aka India are oppressing the "freedom fighters" in Kashmir. I would have written it off as another publicity-hungry stunt by the media elite. However, it is such "human right activists" that the western media listens to, and forms an incorrect opinion of India. By equating the militancy in Kashmir to the Maoist insurgency, Ms.Roy loses whatever credibility she might have had in the discussion. Both of these issues might have legitimate concerns and reasons, but there is a way of postulating things. She prefers to ignore the holistic perspective of the complex Kashmir issue, by oversimplifying the point of contention and concentrating on a single viewpoint. For those of my friends who do know know about Ann Coulter, just google her up - she is one of the most vitriolic right-wing ideologues in the US today. Ms.Roy seems to be the "leftist" counterpart of Ms.Coulter, in India.

First of all, let us take a brief, unbiased look at the history of Kashmir (mostly taken from wiki):

Kashmir was one of the major centres of Sanskrit scholars in prehistoric times, and the Mauryan emperor Ashoka is often credited with having founded the city of Srinagar. In the late 4th century AD, Kashmir was a Buddhist seat of learning. By the 14th century, Islam gradually became the dominant religion in Kashmir. By the early 19th century, the Kashmir valley had passed from the control of the Durrani Empire of Afghanistan, and four centuries of Muslim rule under the Mughals and the Afghans, to the conquering Sikh armies. The Princely State of Kashmir and Jammu (as it was then called) was constituted between 1820 and 1858, under the British rule. After the Indian Rebellion of 1857, in which Kashmir sided with the British, and the subsequent assumption of direct rule by Great Britain, the princely state of Kashmir came under the paramountcy of the British Crown. The reigning monarch in 1947 at the conclusion of British rule of the subcontinent, was given the right to opt for either Pakistan or India or to remain independent. However, when the Maharaja was deliberating his choices, in October 1947, Pashtuns from Pakistan's North-West Frontier Province invaded Kashmir, resulting in the Maharaja signing the Instrument of Accession to India, and the Indian soldiers entering Kashmir and driving the Pakistani-sponsored irregulars out of the state. Since this time, Kashmir has been considered a "disputed territory". The UN Security Council passed resolution in 1948, that the invading Pakistani army retreat from Kashmir and that the accession of Kashmir to either India or Pakistan be determined in accordance with a plebiscite to be supervised by the UN. Since the Pakistani army never left the part of the Kashmir, India used it as a reason to not hold a plebiscite. India could have taken the higher road at this point of time, and held the plebiscite, but was well within its rights not to hold its end of the bargain since Pakistan failed to do the same. In 1949, the Indian government obliged Hari Singh to leave Jammu and Kashmir and yield the government to Sheikh Abdullah, the leader of a popular political party, the National Conference Party. Since then, Kashmir has always been considered an integral part of India - as much as any other state of India. In fact, Kashmir has been given more autonomy than any other state because of the special circumstances.

However, there has been continued violence in Kashmir, resulting in the deaths of thousands of Kashmiri Pandits as well as the Muslims living there. A lot of this can be attributed to the continued infiltration of Pakistan-sponsored terrorists into Kashmir across the border. The Indian army might have been involved in some human right violations, but they need to be present there to protect our borders from Pakistan. Any independent state has the right to protect its borders from occupation by other countries, but the army must be involved in atrocities against the people. The media and intellectuals like Ms.Roy should work as protectors of the people in these areas, shedding light on the transgressions of the army if there are such barbarities, and getting justice through the judicial system of the country, rather than inciting secession.

Now, let us concentrate a bit on Ms.Roy's speech about the issue of Kashmir. Let me start off by saying that the speech was given to a very pro-azaad-Kashmir/anti-India crowd in Srinagar, as was evident by the big round of applause she got, after proclaiming that Kashmir has never been an integral part of India, and supposedly this is not a radical stance she has taken, but the Indian government has already accepted it. I do not believe that the Indian government has ever accepted that Kashmir is not an integral part of India, as is evidenced by the history of the state. Ms Roy then goes on to say that, starting from the day India won independence, it became a colonial power, of its own right. This is a ridiculous statement to make - India never occupied territories outside of its boundaries. Kashmir acceded to India - was never "occupied" or "taken over", as was tried by the Pakistani army. Ms.Roy states other examples such as Nagaland, Manipur and Mizoram - I am not conversant on the issues in the North Eastern parts of India. She also quotes other states such as Punjab, Goa and finally, Telengana. Telengana has always been a part of India - a part of the state Andhra Pradesh. Given a chance, Ms.Roy seems to want to break up India into 30 small countries, which will be incessantly in conflict with one another; then, probably break them further up into smaller countries, until they are all individual villages.

Ms.Roy then says that the Indian government sends Tamilians to fight in Kashmir, Punjabis to fight in Maoist areas, Kashmiris in Punjab and so on - she seems to conveniently forget that the Indian army is a single cohesive unit, which is not broken up in terms of states that the jawans come from - they are not sent out on basis of their origin either. The entire speech is filled with such baseless accusations, trying to further alienate the already instigated crowd, from a pro-Indian standpoint. She refers to the fact that the Indian army is fighting against Kashmiri people as India supposedly does not consider the Kashmiris as "our own" - if this is not provoking the people, what is. There is a legitimate reason for the army to be deployed in Kashmir - if not for the army, Pakistan would have occupied major portions of Kashmir a long time back, and the remaining portions would have been taken over by China.

Ms.Roy then goes on to say that the struggle in Kashmir is painted as a struggle against fundamental Islamists, and even if it is, it is the will of the people to have one and they should be allowed to their will. If Ms.Roy had lived in a fundamental Islamist nation, she would have understood the issues facing people in such countries - it is very easy to rhetorically speak on issues, when one is not faced with the same. She briefly and brusquely, refers to the disintegration of the Soviet Union as "capitalism winning its Jihad against soviet communism in the mountains of Afghanistan", and "US flipped and suddenly founding fathers waging jihad against soviet union became the world's greatest terrorists" - there were intricacies and nuanced international relations at that time in history, which Ms.Roy wants to ignore. Given a choice, I would rather be in an open, democratic (probably capitalist) country than a closed, communist country. I believe Ms.Roy would choose the same as well, but since it is just a "speech" and she does not have to make the actual decision of choosing one over the other, she has the luxury of making such statements. After listening to her speech for about 20 minutes, I was so incensed that I just could not take it any longer.

I do not even want to get started about Ms.Roy's support for the Maoists. The acts of violence committed by the Maoists against the Indian army and police, the sole aim of the Naxal movement being overthrowing the Indian state from the areas they have control over - these have completely voided the right of the Maoists from taking up arms for the sake of the "poor tribals". I do empathise with the tribals who have actually been affected by the inequitable treatment of the government - this issue needs to e addressed, but not by the arm-wielding, anti-nationalist Maoists.

I am the first to agree that the Indian democracy has a lot of flaws. Corruption is quite rampant in the government; the rate of unemployment and poverty is high; population is growing at an alarming rate everyday - even with all this, we should take into account that India is still a fledgling democracy, just 63 years old. It needs more time to mature as a country, to develop itself socially and economically and become a "developed" country. We are on our way there, and instead of impeding our progress, if people like Ms.Roy consolidate their efforts on other useful endeavors such as shedding light on the "real" issues of people with an unbiased view, exposing corrupt officials, developing a better judicial system with the people with a background in law forming a major backbone of the legislative process, improving the quality of media coverage and such, instead of sensationalising issues by making controversial statements to an already-polarised crowd, we souled be taking a few steps forward on our way to a developed India. Ms. Roy has to realise that she has the right to speak out as she does, only because of the fact that India is a democracy and not a fundamentalist or a communist country. If she cannot appreciate the fact, she needs to have the experience of living in a fundamentalist Islamic country like Iran or a communist country like China.

Hindi as our national language - can we really accept this compulsory mandate?

2009-11-16T12:13:00.000-08:00

It's been quite a while since I had the drive or inspiration to write on a subject. A few weeks ago, after watching an episode of "We, the people" on NDTV, I had a long argument with my friend on the subject of Hindi imposition in India. The issue was again discussed in one of the articles in the Times of India today. Personally, I have always considered the ability to understand and speak in Hindi to be an advantage. However, I do not believe that imposing Hindi in schools and organisations throughout the country is the right way to move forward. India is a diverse country, where everyone is free to practise his/her own religion, speak his/her own language... I do not see the necessity of a national language to "unite" us all. When I made this point, my friend said that "you people" conceive this as an "imposition", instead of a duty or a privilege; "when the rest of India is ready to accept Hindi as the national language, why are a few southern states opposing it" - this "morally higher" ground is what got me riled up.

I want to make one point clear, right from the outset. I am proud to be Indian; I have no qualms about opposing the anti-Indian, pro-Tamil-state stance of a few extremist groups from Tamil Nadu; or criticising the anti-Hindi protests by MNS in Maharashtra, or the pro-Kannada rallies taken out by a few groups in Bangalore. I am not a regionalist; I oppose replacing English with Kannada as the medium of instruction in the schools in Karnataka. All I am opposed to is the imposition of one single language on the entire country. I strongly believe that the people should be given the choice of the language they want to study. If they choose to learn and speak Hindi, then we have no issues. If not, no one should have the right to impose on them, nor should fingers be pointed, purporting a "lack of pride and patriotism". This is what I vehemently disagree with. Am I anti-Hindi? Nope - I am as pro-Hindi, as I am pro-Tamil, or pro-Bengali; or as anti-Hindi as I am anti-Gujarati or anti-Telugu. Most people are not against a particular language, unless someone enforces the language on them. Nothing unites people for a revolt, nothing antagonises them, more than what one might envisage as an unfair mandate.

According to the 2001 census, 41% of the Indian population are native speakers of the Hindi dialect. By imposing Hindi as the national language, are we not providing an unfair advantage to this 41% of the population? Consider a kid in one of the rural areas of Karnataka, studying in the third grade. Most of the children work, as well as manage to go to school a few days a week. They may not have enough time to spend on learning a new language "Hindi". I believe their time would be spent better, learning English, and other subjects like Mathematics and the sciences. Contrast this kid with a kid from the rural areas in the Hindi speaking belt. He would not have to spend as much time learning "Hindi", as it is his mother tongue. Why should we place 59% of the population in a disadvantageous position?

People might ask - "what about the people in urban areas?" I still would say that the people should be provided with a choice, lest a portion of the population suffer from an unjust handicap. Consider the simple example of admission into a university, after high school. The total score, including the languages, is the criterion for admission in some premier institutions. A kid, studying in Bangalore would be at a disadvantage, as his Hindi would be of lower standard as compared to one from Delhi - leading to a lower score. Given a choice, he might have chosen a third language which neutralises the playing field, so to say - maybe a classical language like Sanskrit. I took up English, Kannada and Sanskrit as my three languages at school. In spite of this, thanks to my exposure to television and movies, I can understand Hindi, and I am able to talk decently in Hindi. Now, I have an advantage of knowing a fourth language - not unmerited, but a fair leverage. Why leave someone bereft of such an opportunity?

Let everyone be on equal grounds. If the government is bent upon having the non-Hindi speaking states enforce Hindi as a language, by means of their support for the 3 language policy, they should strictly enforce the 3-language policy in the Hindi-speaking states as well. In that case, everyone is learning a foreign language "English", their own native language, which might be Kannada or Hindi, as the case may be, and a third non-native Indian language - all Indians are on equal grounds with no unfair advantage to a single group of people. The issue raised by a few people against this is that there is no single language other than Hindi, that can be universally taught in the Hindi speaking state, as the non-native Indian language. The solution I have for this concern, is to have the states choose from a quorum of official languages - they can always hire teachers from other states, and develop appropriate expertise over time. If they are not successful in implementing equality by means of the 3 language policy, then they should not try to enforce the "third" language on the southern states either.

What really ticks me off is when someone takes the stance that when the other states do not have a problem, why is the issue being raised by the "southern" states? Well, it is the southern states that have their language the most different from Hindi - other languages like Marathi, Gujarati, Punjabi, Bengali etc, all have some commonality with Hindi. To the people from the Southern states, Hindi is as different from their native language, as English is. Also, I would like to point out that in addition to Karnataka, Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh and Kerala, West Bengal and Orissa have also traditionally opposed the imposition of Hindi. The North-eastern states, I believe, are always unfairly treated; like step-children, I would say - the voice of their people is not as loud as those from their Southern counterparts. When "we" are the most affected, of course, "we" are the ones who make the loudest opposition. It is not anti-nationalistic if we oppose Hindi, we are as "Indian" as any other citizen from any other state. Equating "Hindi" to "India" is prevarication.

The other issue raised by proponents of the Hindi imposition is that when we are ready to accept English, which is a foreign language, why are we not ready to learn one of our own languages - Hindi. The utility of learning Hindi is much lower, compared to learning English. A person would learn a language if it has utility. Whether one wants to accept it or not, English is the universally accepted as the international language today, and we have to learn this foreign language if we have to survive and compete in today's world. Also, Hindi, a form of Hindustani, which was majorly influenced by the Persians and Mughals, although derived from Sanskrit, could be considered "foreign". Why not make "Sanskrit", the most pure, indigenous language of India as its national language? Why choose one foreign language over another? I do not think anyone would have issue with having Sanskrit as the national language - though impractical, I am just trying to make a point.

Finally, I come back to the democratic idea of choice. Let the people have choice - let them choose to learn or speak in the language they choose. Imposition or enforcement only makes things worse, as has been demonstrated repeatedly in our history. If people are provided with choice, politicians like Raj Thackeray and Karunanidhi lose their ammunition against the establishment; they will no longer be able to use the ignorance of the illiterate masses for their own political mileage. Multilingualism is an integral part of our diversity - let us preserve it. Instead of fighting over unimportant issues like this, people would concentrate on more relevant issues, and we would move forward, as a nation.

The austerity potion: too difficult to swallow

2009-09-18T15:19:00.000-07:00

I was initially happy when I came to know that the Indian politicians, especially the Congress party leaders, are on an austerity drive and that they were giving 20% of their salary for helping out the people affected by the drought. Though this might not be a huge help, a small step in the right direction, I thought. However, as always, the happiness was short-lived, as this "drive" went way out of hand. This turned out to be another of those dramas that our society demands - be austere in public, do anything in private - just like almost every other "norm" in our country. It is high time we get out of such mentality.

Demanding the politicians to travel in economy class, instead of business class; commanding them to vacate their suites at the hotels - if this is what the austerity drive boils down to, then I feel that the whole idea is absurd. The reason the Congress party gives for the "drive" is that the politicians need to observe austerity in the current situation, since the nation is under draught. How ridiculous can the argument get! If we look at the numbers, the amount saved might not even come up to 0.1% of the resources needed to deal with the draught. The party should be worrying about other ways of countering the issue - stop building monuments or statues that drain the state or national exchequer, provide alternate means of livelihood to the affected people - there are many ways; one just needs to "think". Instead of going for such ludicrous drives, if they could reduce corruption by a minuscule amount, the nation will move ahead by huge strides.

One rarely gets to hear the "truth" from a politician. But I guess, Dr. Shashi Tharoor was going against the norm and being candid, when he said that he was staying at the hotel since the Kerala Bhavan (residence provided by the government) was not able to furnish a gym and privacy, which he needed. Is it wrong to have such needs? I don't think so. Is he using the taxpayer's money for satisfying his requirements? Nope. Is anyone harmed by his residence at a hotel? Nope! Dr. Tharoor was using his own hard-earned money (it doesn't actually matter if it was hard-earned, or not - as long as it is his own earning) to pay for his stay. I do not see the need for the hue and cry raised by the government over the issue. If the people feel that the politician is misusing his money, he would be thrown out in the next election.

What does one mean when one says that the sole purpose of the politicians is to "serve" people? Why is it a requirement that there should be a sense of sacrifice when someone decides to become a politician? What sort of a non-sensical notion is that? If we stick on to such notions, we will remain in the dark ages of yesterday and never move forward. If the educated, forward-thinking, liberal youth has to be inspired to even think about a career in politics, there should be a basic incentive, in addition to the feeling of "serving" people. And unless the educated youth of the country are inspired to get into politics, there is no way our country will ever move forward. One thing to be noted here is that I refer to politics as a career, a means of livelihood. A doctor, a social worker, an engineer, a lawyer, a cop, a professor and a myriad of other professions - "serve" people in one way or the other. Just because a politician is a "representative" of the people does not mean that he should lead an austere life. Why would a sane, educated person join politics, if he will not be able to send his kids to a good private school providing a high quality education, just because he is a politician and needs to be "austere", when he could have done the same, had he remained in any other profession he had chosen... say, an engineer at a private company. Such incidents only drive home the point that politics is not the career to aspire for, instead of encouraging the youth to think about the same!

Now, the other issue that this whole drama has brought to light is the hypocrisy of the public. Hypocrisy thrives in our society - we see it in our everyday lives, our own family and friends. But there has to be a time when one needs to make a stand, have a say... just a statement that the sanctimoniousness is not going unnoticed - maybe someone might even understand and change, though that might be asking for too much... or, is it? Hope is on what I live... Anyway, let us not digress. How can the public say that the politicians should lead an abstinent, austere life, when they themselves cannot live up to those standards? When every man tries to have as lavish a wedding as he can afford for his own son or daughter, what right does he have to criticise a rich person when they spend lavishly on their own requirements? Is it not utterly hypocritical to point hands at a politician for travelling business class, when it is the natural tendency of every man to try to live comfortably, to the best of his affordability? Why should we punish someone just because he is successful, or he is rich?

Moderation is a virtue - I do not disagree with that. I do not condone a lavish wedding, irrespective of who has it. However, I have issues when a politician is "ordered" to vacate his suite in a hotel, just because of his choice of career. The public should not care if the politician lives a frugal life - as long as he is efficient in accomplishing his duties, it should not matter to the public whether he is austere or not. The politicians, as well as the bureaucracy should be held accountable, should not use public funds for their own purposes. But I think they should have the right to use their own money in any way that they feel right. Ours is a diverse country in a huge way - let people live as they want, let us not discriminate based on some one's success, prosperity, or anything else... as long as they are not harming anyone, and doing what they are supposed to be doing!

India's big education revolution - a dream that might become an eventuality?

2009-06-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence." Hope is something without which a human being cannot sustain. There has to be someone who starts walking along a path with hope - as sufficient people realise the importance of hope and envisage the benediction thereof, the road becomes an actuality. A radical change in the Indian education system - a hope in the hearts of thousands, if not millions of Indians, seems to be coming to fruition. It might be premature to say that things will dramatically change, but I do not think that it is naive to hope for such a transformation, anymore!

Kapil Sibal, the new HRD minister of India, seems to have taken a stand completely contrary to that taken by his predecessor, Mr. Arjun Singh - he seems to actually be interested in the development of the human resources in India... ;) I am impressed by the reforms Mr. Sibal seems to be proposing in this regard, as seen in one of his interviews. For starters, Mr. Sibal says that the tremendous pressure on the children as well as the parents due to the huge number of exams that the kids have to take up could be reduced - class 10 board exams can be scrapped when the students are moving to class 11 within the same institution. Overburdening the child with the pressure of board exams traumatises the entire family, which could be avoided by this proposal. The other drastic measure he seems to have introduced is the grading system, instead of marks, for classes 9 and 10, and he wants to extend this system to classes 11 and 12. This is an efficacious, utilitarian system where the child is evaluated not based on a single day of the exam, but over the year. The same system seems to work perfectly well in the US.

The minister also wants to bring about a uniformity of board standards - one exam for all students for class 12. A single exam of the SAT (standardized test for college admissions in the US) format for entry into university, for the entire country and then, the students get to choose the university based on "merit". Though this might be a long term goal, as he elucidated, it still shows the level of proficiency the minister has in this field. This might not just be as chimerical as one might construe, since the system already seems to have been already implemented for entry into all the law schools in India - extending the same to other universities might not be as quixotic or herculean, as one might imagine.

It is important to realise that central to the reform process is school education, so that enough people are thrown up to higher education and hence, move India forward. The government also had a proposal for providing school vouchers for the poor to attend "good" schools. Mr. Sibal feels that this might not be a practical option, since there are very few good quality schools. Unless we expand quality, the education system in India cannot move ahead. The minister also talked about introducing a bill for the right to education, whereby private schools need to "reserve" 25% to poorer students. I hope this refers to the "economically backward" students and not the caste based system. Since this is a very sensitive issue that affects every family in India, a change in the policy framework, with choice and quality as its twin pillars, seems to be the stipulation of the day. The way to move forward is through providing access through expansion, equity through inclusion and quality through excellence.

The other issue I have had with the Indian system of education - the rigidity of the curriculum - seems to have been addressed as well. There is a need to break down the classic division of art, commerce and science, a demand for inter-disciplinary options. A simple example would be of a student pursuing an advanced degree in chemistry wanting to take a few law courses and eventually become an intellectual property litigator for the government or a company. The flexibility of having minors from totally different fields like arts or law or journalism in medicine and engineering, in addition to the majoring field, might open up a plethora of opportunities to the students. Exposure to different fields would certainly help in the overall development of the personality.

With respect to higher education, Mr. Sibal's views were music, or I should say, symphony, to my ears. The minister plans to reduce, and eventually remove, government interference in higher education - the UGC will be a thing of the past. The overall posture of the minister is that there should not be reservation in higher education - "research institutions, centers of national importance, and institutions on niche areas of knowledge", as he put it, and that there is a need for autonomous body for higher education with no external interference. A completely different tune from that of Mr. Arjun Singh, huh? :)

As with any other domain, I believe that privatisation of education would provide the necessary competition and incentive to improve quality. The minister said that he plans to open up India to the world in the sphere of education, just like Dr. Manmohan Singh opened up the Indian economy in the early 1990's. An independent accredited agency of academic experts, away from the dominion of governmental influence, should be made responsible for the establishment of any university. This would allow renowned foreign universities to be able to come to India and provide their high quality education to the Indian students, at a much lower cost as compared to getting the same education in the foreign country. Of course, the logistics of affirmative action and conformance of laws need to be discussed and debated with the foreign institutions, but this measure just opens the field for such a dialogue. Competition among institutions of high repute within India, and top notch universities from all over the world is one of the best things that could happen to the student community in India. The "consumer" benefits!

We seem to have a progressive, pragmatic minister at the helm. I hope he gets to deliver at least 10% of what he wants to. We may not reach the paradise that we might envision, but we can always nurse our hope and support reformist people who could sculpt the future of our country. The idealism of equal opportunity might be an impossibility. But we can still hope... and dream!

Affirmative action in India: Time for repudiation?

2009-06-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Affirmative action has been defined as the set of policies that take race, ethnicity or gender into consideration in an attempt to promote equal opportunity, focusing on issue ranging from employment and education to public contracting and health programs. These policies have been implemented almost all over the world for racial and ethnic minorities, women, physically disabled, underprivileged classes and so on. While these policies have been initially introduced as a temporary measure to level the playing field for these classes, they have transformed into a ubiquitous, immutable affliction on the modern society. Reservation has become a bane for the "non-underprivileged" classes in the Indian context.

The reservation policy was instituted into the Indian constitution at the time it was framed and has been in perpetual existence ever since. Though reservations have been in vogue in every walk of life, I'd like to concentrate on education - one of the major issues that oppress the "non-oppressed" classes in the society. Let me illustrate a simple scenario of how reservation is affecting a student entering college. Being a bit more specific here, consider the Common Entrance Test (CET) for entering professional (meaning engineering or medical courses in India - no other course is considered - one of the many sources of my consternation, but let us not digress) courses in Karnataka. Ranks are awarded (or used to be awarded - it has been almost 9 years since I went through the system) based on the performance in the test, as well as the class 12 exams. There are a fixed number of seats in the top colleges, which is the aim for most of the students. Thanks to reservation, out of the 120 seats available for a particular course in the college, only around 30 are available to the "general merit" category and around 30 more for the "payment" category. A student belonging to one of the "underprivileged" classes can enter the college even with a ranking of 1200, while a student belonging to a "higher" caste cannot make it into the college in spit of getting a ranking of 150.

I would not have issues if the "underprivilege" was based on economic status, rather than the caste. I empathise with the student coming from the economically backward class, who might not have the resources or environment that might be available to a student who is economically well-to-do. But with similar economic status, if a student from a "non-underprivileged" class is denied entry based on his "higher" caste, then I would consider it as reverse discrimination. If this is not gross injustice to the student, I do not know what is! One might argue that if the student is that good, he would do equally well in a lower ranked college. Well, if we go down that path, then why did the student even have to study that hard? What happens to his morale? If he has to work twice as hard as an equally able student to reach the same status, would that not breed abhorrence towards that class? Isn't the whole purpose of affirmative action defeated?

Though I am totally unconvinced about this reservation system based on caste at the level of entering professional colleges, I'll let this go and move onto the the next level - reservations at higher educational institutions. I might let the former slide through for a few years (though most would agree that a time span of 60 years is a few too many). India has institutions for higher education of world repute - IIM's, IIT's, IISc, NLS, AIIMS, ISRO and so on. These world class institutions should not have to deal with the non-sensical politics of the government. My rationale is that once a person belonging to an "underprivileged" class has a college degree, he can find a job (he could "use" his caste card there as well, if it is a government organisation). He does not need any more "assistance" to move ahead in his career. The rest of his life should depend on his own intellect and capability. Entry into these higher-education institutions should be based only on merit, or any other parameters that the institution may deem important for their sphere of specialisation - but they should all be applied equally to everyone. It is an understatement that I was royally pissed off when I heard that the government was thinking of introducing reservations in the IIM's and increasing the quota (God knows what caste is not covered under the "underprivileged" classes now). Imagine the frustration that a "non-underprivileged" class guy would feel when he has to sit through the Common Admission Test (CAT) for 3 consecutive years to finally make it into an IIM when an "underprivileged" class guy can make it with much lesser effort/intellect within a single year!

In addition to this very convincing justification, there is a myriad of other reasons why reservation based on caste needs to be extirpated. This policy lowers standards of accountability needed to push students to perform better. Students admitted on this basis are, more often than not, ill-equipped to handle the schools to which they've been admitted. One other facet is that it is condescending to minorities to say they need affirmative action to succeed. It demeans true minority achievement - success is labeled as result of affirmative action rather than hard work and ability.

It is high time that the youth of India do something about this anathema of reservation based on caste. Such antiquated laws, being used atrociously by politicians like Mayawati for their own selfish motives, need to be recalibrated every fixed number of years, till they are completely disposed of. Intellectual, progressive, practical lawmakers need to be responsible for making this happen. Some believe that equality is a myth, that can never be achieved in the Indian subcontinent. But unless we try to expunge such practices in a phased, practical manner, unless our mindset changes and begins to accept equality with no extra privileges, the utopian equal society, where everyone co-exists peacefully, irrespective of their religion, caste, sex, language, region or sexuality (or any of the other man-created barriers), will remain an allegory. There has to be an inception somewhere, sometime - why not here? why not now?

"Wave" - Google's new tornado

2009-05-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

As most of my colleagues in the software industry concede, those of us working in front of the computer for at least 8 hours a day, spend, on an average, a couple of hours checking emails, updates from friends and acquaintances and news of interest - in general, the check for updates is perpetual throughout the day - whenever there is a free moment, or when a break is needed - the brain directs the hand to go and open the browser and do the needful... And more often than not, there is no need to even "open" a browser... it's already open with the necessary "tabs" that might not even need to be updated! Anyways, today morning, I saw a "facebook" update from a friend, with a link to "Google Wave preview". As is customary, I opened the link and was bowled over by the video. I could not stop myself from immediately sending an email out to a few friends about the new addition to the google "family". Then, I sat and watched the whole presentation - it was really commendable, to say the least. I don't remember the last time I blogged about technology - so here goes - a variation from the previous few posts!

I was truly spellbound by the vast set of features provided by the product, and the best thing about the whole protocol/application is that it is extendible and "OPEN-SOURCE". The software community can contribute to the development of the system. I can go on and on about the divine advantages of "open source" software - maybe a topic for another blog, sometime! Anyways, the "Wave" boasts of a set of features that I would actually love to have in my daily usage - practical and cool, at the same time. A brief array that I can remember from the hour long presentation:
-- Integrated email and chat - this is different from the traditional model in the concurrency and organisation; the look is totally cool and user-friendliness is unparalleled; very intuitive
-- Playback history - this was something that really caught my attention; this is such a cool feature and useful too; it could be integrated with any sort of communication - email, document sharing, chat...
-- Group conversations - add participants, private trees (privacy doesn't leave local server); really secure and neat
-- Drag/drop for attachments - Easy to use, cannot get cooler with concurrent viewing and updating capability
-- Embedding of other sites/features - blogs, orkut
-- Mobile application - obviously, they have the app on cell phones as well
-- Collaborative editing and source control for document production - I thought this was really nice and has great utility for us engineers who need to keep updating documents; a maintenance of the history of updates is also impressive
-- Real time translation between languages - the app seems to automatically translate the conversation to the language that was set
-- A lot of other features like "cooler" spell check, concurrent editing, games with playback, plugins for invitations, maps, polls, twitter, bug management, games

The really great thing about the entire application is that in spite of the huge feature set provided, it seemed very efficient and fast. I was completely dazzled by the concurrent editing feature. As always, google has proved itself as the front-runner in technology - and to think that they are ready with this in a just 18-24 months - it is simply mind-blowing (they might have had their reasons for "coming out" so soon... nevertheless, the effort is exemplary).

The other facet of the presentation that caught my attention was that the indefatigable Murphy's law held true to its veracity. A few features did not go as expected - some took longer, some just did not work! But the presenters were really good at what they did. They had a backup for last minute failures that happened, they started with an attention-grabbing feature... and ended with a bang! They could sell the product to a group of software developers and the world in a pertinaciously admirable manner. I realise that delivery and presentation are quite important. But just those attributes without substance fall flat on the face. This group had both.

I am also quite awed by the acumen of the company. They have realised that to live in this world, they have to live in the present, and in the future simultaneously. They learnt from their past mistakes. Proprietary software is not the way to go - open up the source code, but realise that they'd still be profitable if enough people use it. They envisage that open source developers form a huge driving force for the success of any product these days. Though I am not completely cognizant of the pros and cons of the business model involved, I comprehend that this seems to work in the customer oriented world, with a good feel of transparency about it. I do not think I could unequivocally declare that "Wave" is the best communication/collaboration tool ever, since I am pretty sure there will be something that will beat this, and in the near future - that is the beauty of technology and innovation, but I could say it is right there at the top.

I was also surprised that there was not a single Indian among the presenters/engineers that were in the video. Considering that a sizeable portion of the software community is Indian, I was expecting a couple of "desi" faces, or at least a few names in the "friends" list on the application. I tried to reason that the anomaly could be attributed to the fact that there might not have been a forum for "all" engineers/innovators to be present in this team. Since the guy who introduced the team was Indian, I guess there were other "desis" who presented from other teams.

One of the statements that the presenter made struck a chord in me... "We think the world will be a better place if this was an open system and everyone could build services into it." I was left wondering... how true the statement is... open minded people ready to accept the new things life has to offer, ready to accept the idiosyncrasies, ready to contribute to the overall development... how ideal would that be!

Income tax returns in India - a dystopia for the common tax payer?

2009-05-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

An article grabbed my attention during the customary perusal of the daily news on the web. It was talking about "How to get I-T refunds faster" in the Indian context. The scheme described was pretty straight forward - a particular bank is sanctioned to issue refunds on behalf of the income tax department to the tax payers in the form of cheques or drafts. What caught my attention were the comments posted in response to the article. I was appalled to know that it takes "years together" to get the tax returns. I guess I have never filed for taxes back home, since I never earned when I was there. Or maybe, I was just uninformed (since I just know the fact that my dad filed his returns - nothing more), or maybe, I just didn't care. Anyways, things change... hopefully, for the better! :)

I always knew that the bureaucratic processes in India was painfully prolonged and lackadaisical. I had ascribed it to the apathy and corruption of the involved officials, that was in turn caused by poverty and a myriad of other reasons... and finally everything leading to the singular cause to which I attribute most of the woes crippling our country today, the humongous population. I had created a logical sequence of reasoning in my brain with the "gigantic population" as the shield for each and every problem faced by the country, ranging from poverty to illiteracy to terrorism to religious intolerance to corruption - well, my head had this bulwark as the only germane rationale for every possible issue plaguing India.

However, in this particular issue, this blockade started having cracks. According to most sources, only 3% of the Indian population pays taxes. I would say less than 1% is the actual figure (only professionals working in companies and government institutions where it is mandatory to have income tax withheld, actually pay taxes... few others do). So, it should not be that difficult a job to process the tax returns filed and distribute the returns appropriately. It is horrendous to even contemplate that it takes 3 to 4 years to get the returns back. Some might get it back within a year (not sure if anyone has), but even that is a long time. Does the government pay interest for the time period that the tax returns were not paid out?

I could not help, but compare the figures with those from the US. I know that it may not be reasonable to compare a developed country like USA with a developing one like India. However, I believe that instead of trying to find reasons for the unjustifiability of the scrutinisation, we should try do a very careful examination and employ methods that work into our mindset and ultimately, the bureaucracy. According to reliable sources, at least 45% of the US population pays taxes, though a higher percentage pays some sort of tax or the other (property tax et cetera). I myself have been filing taxes for the last 4 years - I get my refund within 10-20 days of filing my taxes. If there are any amendments that need to be made, it might take up to a month. Why this massive disparity... this ginormous chasm? On the one hand, I am not astonished by these numbers... on the other, I am saddened that these numbers fail to either surprise me or beleaguer me. Thankfully, I have not grown totally immune to these issues - they still rattle me more often than not.

The other facet of my consternation is that the major portion of the tax not paid is from the highest earning part of the population. Why should the working class be taxed while the other cadres earning more do not pay any taxes? Consider the controversy brewed around the tax returns filed by the senators here in the US... Tim Geithner, the treasury secretary, refiled amended returns for previous years before being sworn in - this created a huge squabble, but he finally made it in. Though I agree that a huge portion of the politicians and bureaucrats in the US (as well as around the world) evade taxation as much as possible, they are held accountable here in the US, more often than not. Skeletons are drawn out of the closet and careers are ruined. In India, there is no accountability. The corrupt politician who has never paid any taxes what-so-ever could well be the prime minister or the president of our country.

Instead of digressing into a discussion on the corruption in politics and elsewhere, I'll try to come back to the topic under consideration. Is it possible for a change in the scenario? Where does the change start? Would I be paying taxes if I was not held accountable (a salaried employee of a company/government organisation)? Would I be ready to go through the hassle of the long-drawn bureaucratic process, as opposed to a shorter, back-door, easier way of bribing an official? These are the questions we need to ask ourselves, and understand that change cannot be expected from others if we are not ourselves ready for it. Bound by the practicalities of the situation, rather than trying to be idealistic (that I think might be painful to say the least, and hence may not last long), we should try our best to start on the right path in smaller, pragmatic ways.

Red cards for erring students - slow "talibanisation"?

2009-04-21T18:09:00.000-07:00

I got a forwarded email from my brother, essentially describing the heights to which a college can go in curbing the freedom of expression among its student community. The college in question is one of the reputed institutions for engineering stream, in Bangalore - PES Institute of Technology. I would not have been that bewildered by this development in PESIT, which has a tradition of trying to make the lives of students miserable, if this had happened when I myself was student, 5 years back. But I was expecting things to have ameliorated with passage of time. Well, that does not seem to be the case. I cannot begin to fathom the reason for this, though. Either the students are becoming more complaisant, which is quite implausible, or the dogmatic standards have reached new benchmarks.

I am totally flabbergasted by the set of rules which, if violated by a student, would result in him being issued an infraction slip (card) under minor (green), major (yellow) and severe (red) categories.. and here is the "icing" on the cake - anyone with any semblance of authority in the college, starting from a lecturer to a warden, can issue the slip to a student, at their whim and fancy, even as their own personal vendetta. Having such infractions in the record may lead to suspension and black marks on the certificates.

The rules are totally absurd - wearing collarless T-shirts, cargo pants, flimsy dresses, sleeveless tops, low-waist pants could get you a card. Preposterous, is it not? Who is going to be the judge of what "flimsy" is? Why should a student now wear a round-necked T-shirt, with a pair of cargos, as long as it is perfectly comfortable to him/her? Who are these guys to tell them what to wear and what not to wear? It just doesn't end there. Styly beard, fancy moustache, punk appearance are cited as infraction as well. Just because they do not have any sense of fashion, it does not mean that they should curb the same among the youth as well. Bigoted, close-minded, tyrannical f****rs... There is a long list of such activities that are stated in the college’s "student infraction slip", with a final "any other (to be detailed by the faculty)". I have never been much of a rebel or a revolutionary, but even reading through them makes me want to revolt. For God's sake, if the kids are old enough to vote, don't you think they are old enough to make a decision regarding their clothes? These rules are totally absurd and outdated.

The principal of the college justified the decision saying that these measures were necessary to raise the standards of the institution - what a load of tarradiddle! Absolutely outrageous! Don't even get me started on the "standards" of the college. For one thing, if they want to elevate the standards of the college, they should start behaving like a professional institution, rather than a prison for mentally unstable, psychopathic kids who are waiting to jump at an opportunity to create problems. There are tons of ways to "raise the standards", that are currently minimal, to say the least: Hire the best talent in the industry to teach the students, make the kids want to come to college, than force them out of fear; Improve the infrastructure - just to name a few.

I am getting a feeling that this is a slow, but sure "talibanisation" - curtailing individual freedom of speech and expression. I could go a step further and say that these people are almost equivalent to, or on their way to reach the same "standards" as the a**h**es who call themselves the "moral police" (aka Ram Sena) of the modern society in India.

The parents should try to step in and make the college administration deviate from this path of annihilation of self-expression. This could hinder the overall development of the personality of kids of that age. Students should themselves rebel against this gross mishandling of affairs - maybe form a council and protest - something... anything - inaction is definitely not the way.

Ludicrous bill passed by the Indian government (yet again? ;))

2009-04-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I blogged. "Same old" reason, I guess - got busy with things. Anyways, something in today's news caught my attention and I felt like blogging about it.

"Email providers will need to have servers in India" - so goes a headline in the Times of India. The article says - according to the recent amendments in IT act, internet behemoths like Google, Rediff and Microsoft, which provide free email services to users, need to set up Indian servers. In addition, they may need to provide Indian email accounts for Indian nationals. Supposedly, this change is going to make a huge difference to the investigating agencies dealing with cyber crime, including data theft.

What a shitload of baloney this is! I agree that the intelligence agencies might have had problems with getting account information from companies with servers overseas. But is this the solution to the problem? Or, putting it more blandly, is this even "a solution" to the problem?

Sitting at my desk in my office, in just a few seconds, I could come up with at least half a dozen ways to circumvent the "provisions" of this act. One could enter false personal information while registering. If IP Addresses are being used to trace the country of origin, email-id's could be created in a foreign country and could then be used locally - there is no practical way of preventing usage of email-id's created overseas, in a given country. The country would have to literally ban foreign tourists from using email facility, which is unviable. What if people go to an email provider through an anonymized website and then create an ID using a foreign domain? There are definitely simpler as well as more complex ways of preventing "being caught" by this act. Terrorists who can get a hand on the cutting-edge weapons, can as easily find state-of-the-art, sophisticated ways of dealing with this law.

This bill is asinine and puerile, causing inconvenience to the common man, as well as huge expenses to the companies, while not achieving anything that it seemed to aim at! One of the simplest ways to deal with the problem is to have better laws to facilitate the expedited recovery of required information from companies with "servers" overseas. Any kid in his second year of engineering, or in fact, any kid who has the technical know-how of how internet works, would know the loopholes in this law, and could easily come up with a simple solution to the problem.

I understand that the politicians in India are not as tech-savvy as their counterparts in most countries. But when such laws are passed by the Parliament, do they not go through officials who are more educated about the subject at hand? Or are government officials in India totally clueless about the leading edge technology? I am appalled by the lack of knowledge in the Indian political machinery which, in addition to continuing to uphold antiquated laws like article 377, has started passing new meaningless laws like this one!

One other facet of the issue is that the very notion of "internet" is it is a global interconnection of networks. I personally feel that the government should not have access to personal information of the citizens. On the other hand, like any other technology, "internet" could be used for destructive purposes and the government should be able to counter that. There is a fine line that needs to be walked between personal freedom of privacy and expression and governmental control.

In conclusion, I feel that the government should employ personnel with appropriate level of technical expertise, as well as those with a broader view of the moral/social issues involved, in positions that should be involved in taking such decisions.

Is this NOT anti-feminist?

2008-10-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

I was just following up on the elections online... and through a series of clicks (getting digressed on the Internet -- we've all done that!), ended up in this blog quoting the following "shloka"; the article was titled "Is this anti-feminist?" Well, I for one, do think it is... hence, the title for this blog...

Karyeshu dasi, Karaneshu manthri;
Roope cha Lakshmi, Kshamayaa dharitri;
Bhojyeshu mata, Shayaneshu rambha;
Shatkarma yukta, Kuladharma pathni.

A fairly veridical translation would be:

A good worker like a house-maid; a good adviser like a minister;
Beautiful like Goddess Lakshmi; Land of forgiveness;
A caretaker like a mother; Great in bed like Rambha;
One with all these six qualities makes an ideal wife.

Anybody who reads this, in this age and day, without a second thought, would say "WTF"... or any other equivalent expression! A good worker like a maid? Come on now... if you want a maid, go pay someone to do the work for you. Beautiful? What about the "not beautiful" ones? I did not want to use "less fortunate" here... Is beauty everything? All forgiving? yea, whatever the husband does, just forgive... Caretaker like a mother? Get a nurse, buddy... Great in bed? no comments there...

Wow... Come on now, if this is not male chauvinism... what is? If there was a very similar "shloka" for an ideal husband, maybe then I would not be so irked and so vociferous about my thoughts on this... Some people may raise objections, saying that the "shloka" does not actually mean to demean women, it should not be taken in the literal sense! Even if we go by the essence of the "shloka", I would still say that the "shloka" should have talked of "the other partner" in marriage than specifically the "wife". Whatever is expected of the wife, should be expected of the husband as well. This just speaks of the age-old male dominance still prevalent in our society... I get so worked up about these things sometimes that I could just rant on and on...

And I was appalled to read the comments on the blog! I really could not believe it. More than half of the comments were condoning the "shloka"... some even saying "The Sanskrit "shloka" holds for not only women of ancient society, but also to the modern women, because newly married couples are getting divorced within few days of married life." These words coming from the younger generation Indians... I was really shocked that we have so many people who still prefer to stay in the Utopian era. Though things are improving, people like this will just pull us back... not allowing us to move ahead.

I am not a feminist activist... I am more an "equal" rights person. I am not against the ancient Hindu philosophies. In fact, I am devout, God-believing Hindu. I am just saying we should have a sense of what is right and what is not... we should be more open. I am not one of the conservatives... I am a liberal, and proud of it! I do not go bashing up someone just because I do not agree with them. Everyone is free to his own opinion, as long as it does not harm others.

I believe that one should never force one's thoughts on a person, just because of one's convictions and pre-suppositions. Every person has the right to have his/her own views and opinions. "Equality", irrespective of sex, race, religion, language, region, sexuality... should be the aim and people should get over their prejudices and close-mindedness. OMG... do not even get me started on what's happening in Mumbai right now... uff... I guess I am going off in a tangent! Let me end this write-up with a small deliberation that keeps clawing into my mind... is India taking small baby steps forward slowly, while running giant steps backward?

Crash... a collision of "stereotypes"

2008-10-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a while... a flurry of changes in life... a move to a new place, new job... I haven't had the volition to write for reasons unknown... or known, for that matter. Anyway, I had a chance to watch the movie "Crash" yesterday... an emotionally intense movie.

"It's the sense of touch. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something." These first few lines of the movie touch a chord, catch the attention, and form the core theme around which the plot is developed.

The movie continually emphasises the fact that things in life are not black and white... there are always shades of gray... each person is the sum total of each and every experience he has had in his life. The characters are just a representation of the different socio-economic segments of the society... each of them evolves as the movie progresses. Throughout the course of the movie, our impression of the characters keeps changing. The movie has several underlying themes - the way that we are all just "connected" with the people we interact with knowingly or unknowingly, though we may never get to know each other at a personal level; the fact that we are the victims of our own prejudices; the misconception among most of us that there is nothing beyond what we know; the hypocrisy when it comes to some of our own misconstrued beliefs, leading to insensitivity... each and every one of these aspects is well depicted, through the events in the lives of the characters within a span of 36 hours.

The beauty of the movie lies in the fact that it accentuates repeatedly on the reason or logic behind an action than the action itself. I personally feel that the movie is well-made... a lot of interpretation of the situations is left to the discretion of the viewer - I feel that this is one of the positive aspects of the movie. The movie could have been subtler, but I have a feeling that this crudeness serves the movie well. There are several situations where the movie actually has subtle messages well portrayed.

Also, I believe that racism was just a way of putting across the message to the viewers... we never know how a minute, miniscule action of ours could affect another person, we should "STOP" (subtly indicated by the several STOP signs shown through the course of the movie - one of the several instances of the ingenuity shown by the makers), think about the morality, logic and consequences of our actions and only then go ahead... we should get out of our pre-conceived notions, our sanctimoniousness, and try to open ourselves to the possibility of the existence of things alien to us, try to understand and co-exist with them despite the diverse perspectives...

Overall, you may eventually like the movie or not, but I can surely vouch that "Crash" is a must-watch for movie aficionados.

"Jaane tu ya jaane na..." --- FABulously FRESH

2008-07-09T11:37:00.000-07:00

I was in desperate need of a feel-good movie... and I guess that this movie was prescribed by the doctor for my needs... lol! The movie as a whole was pretty decent, nothing out of the world... a cheesy romantic comedy without a lot of usual drama we tend to associate with such movies... but still with a high degree of predictability! Irrespective of all that, I loved the movie... maybe it was more because of the timing when I watched it, rather than the actual movie itself, that made me love it.

The movie is filled with authentic performances. Imran as Jai is sweet, cute, lovable... as Aditi's brother begrudgingly admits, he is everything every mom would want in her son, any person would look for in their better half... About Genelia as Aditi, I cannot write enough... If "freshness" were to be human, it would be in her form. She is so adorable that you cannot help but fall in love with Aditi. Cameos by Arbaaz and Sohail Khan, Naseeruddin Shah and Paresh Rawal, and the interaction within the group of friends provide the comic ingredient in the movie - the timing is exquisite!

One really believable character in the movie, for whom you empathise, is Meghna... who prefers to live in denial. Rather than face the harsh reality, she prefers to close her eyes and dream on that everything is fairy-tale-beautiful in the world. You wish that you could help her... your heart goes out to the sweet girl. The other character who you start loving in the movie is Amit, Aditi's brother... an alienated, lost soul, well portrayed by Prateik... I felt that there was more room to explore his character and the sibling relationship there. I still do not understand the dynamics of the human brain... the relationship between Rotlu and Bombs... :) Anyways, I guess, all is well that ends well...

Overall, the movie was well-made... the songs are really catchy and sweet. I really expected a better picturisations for a couple of songs... You can easily identify yourself with Mala, the girl to whom the entire love-story is being narrated to... sometimes you feel that she is saying exactly what is in your mind... a good touch. I'll end this brief write-up with the sweet song:

"Kabhi kabhi Aditi zindagi mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai.
Kabhi kabhi Aditi wo bichhar jaaye to ek sapna lagta hai.
Aise mei koi kaise apne aansuo ko behne se roke?
Aur kaise koi sochle everything's gonna be ok?"

"Sometimes in life, we find someone providentially.. and we feel they are ours... Sometimes when they go away from us, it all feels like a dream. In such a situation, how can we hold back the tears that threaten to flow out of the eyes? And how can we think that everything's going to be fine?"

Sweet song... and the song goes on into a positive note...

"Suun to jara madhosh hawa tujhse kehne lagi.
Ke Aditi wo jo bichhadte hai ek na ek din phir mil jaate hai;
Aditi jaane tu ya jaane na phool phir khil jaate hai."

"Listen to the dreamy breeze that is talking... saying that we will get the person who went away, one day or the other... You may know it or not, flowers will bloom again..."

I have been listening to it repeatedly and have totally fallen in love with the tune as well as the lyrics... lol... True or not, imaginary or real, overly optimistic or not... all that we need in a life is a ray of hope... huh?

Get Real!!!

2008-06-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

I've been putting off blogging for quite some time now... just did not have enough inspiration, or the mood to actually sit down and write! I think I should write more often... it helps me clear my mind... it's soothing in a way! I'll try to blog more often! Anyways, it's not like a sudden bolt of inspiration struck me now and I had a sudden change of mood to write... it's more like a culmination of the desire to write for the past few days...

"Get Real..." Is it not quite easy to say or do, at first glance? It seems so simple... just get real, dude! However, if we dwell on it, we might see that this statement has innumerable interpretations, several layers of depth... as we go deeper, we find heterogeneous, vivid expositions...

The first thing that strikes me is the question "how would we define reality?" I would turn to science for most of the issues when there is even a grain of doubt in my mind regarding them. Some issues may be "gray", left to the interpretation of the individual. Also, I personally feel that science cannot explain feelings and emotions... YET! It will not be long before scientists actually are able to do that as well... lol... I am heading off along a tangent now! Let's get back to the topic of discussion.

Something that one individual considers to be real may be imaginary to another! There could be two scenarios here.
The former being that the thing or issue is actually imaginary. In this case, it could be due to the fact that the individual may be in desperate exigence of the thing to maintain their sanity or sense of happiness. It could be a matter of misconception of fact that lead them to believe in the issue. It could just be naivety.. and life would make them realise that what they assume is real is just not the way things actually are.
The latter being that the issue is actually real. In this case, it may be nescience... the individual might just not know that such a thing or issue exists for real... they might think that it is just a fragment of imagination. It might be denial, manifested as the obsessive need to ignore the issue and remain ignorant about it. It could be that the individual does not understand or feel the actual issue and hence, might categorize it as being chimerical. There could be a multitude of reasons!

One other dimension of the statement could be the fact that sometimes "getting real" is not the best thing. Escape from reality... something I am fond of doing occasionally, as I guess most of us do! Flight or fight, as psychology says, is the normal human reaction to most unfavorable situations. When we cannot fight it, we just fly away from it. Of course, we eventually have to fight the demon and vanquish it... lol... but a brief stint into the realm of fantasy might just be helpful. Well, if we do not "get real", life has its own bitter-sweet way of kicking us in a place that hurts and say, "Get out of your dreams and imaginations... Get Real!"

On a lighter note, for us computer scientists and mathematicians, I just thought of a banter between "i" and "pi"...

A muddle of contradictions!

2008-03-27T15:39:00.001-07:00

The human psyche is such a complicated phenomenon... it has a plethora of emotions, each having a multitude of dimensions, each showing up in different ways... sometimes alone, sometimes as a combination of sorts! And it gets more convoluted as they start contradicting one another. And the mind goes into a state of mayhem when feelings and thoughts refute one another. I have been contemplating these random thoughts for some time now.

Sometimes, you just know what you have to do! But you just cannot do it... the mind cannot comprehend a situation where things do not go in the way they were "supposed" to go! It is so easy to act nonchalant about issues, to pretend... trying to be superficially fine with the things as they are or the way they are going to be in the near future. You can go into a state of denial or a state of ignorance, or maybe just hit the problem head-on(which I guess rarely ever happens!).

Consider a situation where someone very close to you is moving away. The positive side of the mind says, "enjoy when you can... these are the little moments you can treasure and remember..." One other part of the mind says, "what is the point! it is anyways not going to last... you will be left all alone to yourself... do not let anyone in! do not let yourself be hurt... keep everything at a superficial level..." There is a random part of the mind which just wants to whack the person hard on the head and put some sense into them! I can think of a couple more better ways of trying to clear their head... or not? lol... but again, some things are better left unsaid... a delicate balance being maintained should not be disturbed. Are you ready to take a leap of faith? The logical part of the mind says a huge, resounding NO!!! The optimistic, cuddly, innocent part says maybe... But again, a small jump seems feasible... a huge leap... the mind would definitely say no!

As they say, emotions cannot be told the science of logic, nor the rules of morality! But trying to do that is what starts the turbulence in the mind. If we try to incorporate some logic into our emotions, maybe we would be much happier? And I think we would never be able to live with ourselves if we were not morally right, at least to our own standards... this is definitely true for me, and I guess for a lot of people as well... Anyways, it is this act of trying to assimilate logic and morality into emotions and act according to that, is what creates the prolific fizzle of tumultuous instability inside us... it all finally dies down with a state of no emotion...

Let me try to use some terminology from computer science... after all, that is supposedly my "major" of study... Would it not have been simply wonderful if our mind was like a RAM (Random Access Memory), instead of a PROM (Programmable Read Only Memory)? Just remembering incidents and people till we shut down (sleep)... and when we boot up (wake up), it is all erased... afresh, anew... we would not even remember meeting some people... we would forget all the hurt... we would forget the joy as well... but again, should we not be satisfied with just the moment of joy? Sometimes it just would be the greatest thing, but sometimes it would just be heart-breaking to forget some things... lol... the "famous", or should I say... the "infamous" CONTRADICTION strikes again?

All I want is you...

2008-02-21T16:11:00.000-08:00

"All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea"

The movie "Juno" opens with this song... the tune is catchy and of course the lyrics are great... the romantic in me really loved it I guess... The song just goes on and on about what "I" would be if "you" were something... very cheesy and feel-goody... lol... a sense of contentment and security by "holding in your arms" and at the same time, a sense of nonchalance and danger by "swaying like the sea"... I believe that the concept is too romantic... like in the dreams... too unworldly... nevertheless it is this idea that makes one hopeful for a better tomorrow... to look for the "one" to whom one can say "All I want is you..." and who says the same thing back!

Life is like a meandering river... or a stream? It takes us through the exquisite beauty of mother nature... forests, trees, beautiful sunsets, sunrises... nice neighborhoods... and of course there will always be rocking of the boat... dangerous terrain... rough waters... it shows us everything... and makes the ride interesting, sad, joyous... and all the other emotions you can think of... :)

Is it in the human mind to perceive what it internally feels, in the nature outside? I guess so... Consider a rainy day! If you are internally feeling sad, you get a feeling that the nature is shedding silent tears with you... The same rain accompanied with a fresh smell of moist earth can initiate a feeling of a cleansing away the sadness and looking forward to a new, happy tomorrow, if you are internally feeling optimistic... The same rain can generate a feeling that the nature is equally depressed with black clouds hanging low, looking towards impending gloom, if you are feeling dismally despondent... If you are spending time with a loved one, you will feel like dancing in the rain and appreciate that the nature is tossing tiny goblets of joy at you and your lover... It is just so fascinating, at the same time, astounding, how differently the mind comprehends the same fact, based on its current state.

A spate of disconnected thoughts and I guess I felt a sudden impulse to write... Am I being too cut-off from reality these days? My writing might suggest so, though I do not think I am... :P

Interesting theory for love?

2008-02-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day is approaching... tomorrow, in fact! Love is in the air... everything seems to be affected... starting from the romantic music playing in the malls, coffee shops around the city, to "Every kiss begins with K" and similar series of ads on TV, to a new set of spam mails of the "Give them a rock this Valentine's day, the one they've ALWAYS wanted" sort in my mailbox, to couples holding hands and kissing, walking around... even the weather seems to have gotten into the mood, with beautiful sunsets and what not! Interesting... lightens my mood and makes me happy on one hand... and a tad bit sad on the other... oh well, anyways...

I took a break from work and decided to attend one of the courses offered at the learning center at my company... the course was interesting to say the least. But, to sit through a whole day of class... Oh My God! I did not know it would be such a daunting task... Had to browse through websites, chat with friends, get some work done AND of course, depend on lots of caffeine to keep myself awake and concentrate on the class. When browsing through the web, I came across this article, that gave advice on love.

When do you actually realise that you are in love with a "special someone", or if someone is in love with you? I am using "in love with someone" and not "love someone"... there is a difference! As they say, actions speak louder than words... As romantic, engaging and seductive as the words of the "special someone" might be, no words can take the place of concrete action and behavior.

- Do they listen to you?
Actually listening and not just hearing to what someone is saying... listening to their point of view, their issues and anything they have to say is very important. If you really love someone, this is the first thing that you would involuntarily do! The same goes with the "other person" as well. If they really are "in love" with you, they would LISTEN to you.

- Do they follow through on their promises and commitments?
This is one of the most important characteristics of a person... how well they keep the promises and commitments they make to you... how often do they go back on them!

- Do they at least attempt to express interest in your interests and likes -- even if it isn't their thing?
LOL... don't you think this is quite important as well? I know being honest about everything you feel is important... nevertheless, if you really love someone, you involuntarily tend to develop an interest in their interests and likes... for example, even though you might be really bored with some specific sort of movie genre, or music in general, you would try to develop interest in it just so you can get to know the other person well... and spend more time with them! The key thing is that this is a two-way street...

- Do they sometimes go out of their way to demonstrate their care for you?
Is this not simply romantic? If not in every step, showing that you care at least once a while is a really significant aspect in a relationship.

- Do they show up for the relationship -- treating it and you as a priority?
As I already said, a relationship is a two-way street. Prioritising different aspects of life and being clear and discussing about them lets you know how much they actually care about you.

- Do they tell you how they feel? Can they give you space when you need to take it?
Of course, open communication is the baseline of any successful relationship. Of course, every person needs space, but opening up to someone you are in love with is quite important.

- Do they respect your requests, thoughts and values -- even if they don't always agree?
Mutual respect even in case of disagreement... tough, but it just makes it all worth it!

- Are they willing to forgo -- or at least address -- their own addictions, distractions and personal hang-ups that keep them distant from you? Are they honest with you?
Being honest about feelings is really a basic issue when it comes to love. Addressing one's own short-comings and trying to overcome them or work through them together shows how much one loves the other person.

- Do they love you for who you are -- not simply for what you provide or do for them?
This question is quite interesting too... food for some thought here ;)

And I would repeat that all of these have to come from BOTH the persons involved. Though I am not much experienced, just sharing a few of my thoughts here I guess... ;) Can I take a shot at being a therapist? Or do I myself need one? lol...

Dream on... my heart! ;)

2008-01-17T12:12:00.000-08:00

"Desert Rose"

I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand

I dream of fire
Those dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
Her shadows play in the shape of a man's desire

This desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this

And as she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems

I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to empty skies above
I close my eyes
This rare perfume is the sweet intoxication of her love

I've been listening to this song repeatedly for the last few days... Exquisitely written lyrics... I really loved them! Man dreams and dreams... I guess that is what finally keeps us alive?

I dream of rain and green gardens in the desert that my life is... Is it possible that it might come true? nevertheless, I dream on... I wake up from the dream as I realise that it might not be true...? But I still continue to dream... of love... the one thing that everyone on this earth keeps looking for... not many may find it, but we dream on... Time runs through my hands... time goes on, doesn't stop... doesn't run backwards... always runs on... and I dream of love... maybe I will find it some day?

I dream of fire... sometimes I do... my desires, imaginations, dreams dancing like shadows in front of the fire... dream of them... is that all I can do? The dreams of course never tire... they run like a tireless horse... every time I sleep... sometimes, I dream with my eyes open as well...

The desert rose... my one love? with lots of secret promises... each promise meant to be kept? ... or broken? The sweetness of the rose... the smell... the beautiful moments... torture me? do they? they are just dreams... and the great thing is that I can shape things as I want in my dreams... I dream on...

Finally, realisation of reality strikes? Nothing is as it seems... everything is unreal... But I still dream... longingly gaze at the empty skies to open up sometime... close my eyes and immerse in the sweet intoxication of love... memories... sweet memories... besotting memories! A state of euphoria!

Taare Zameen Par... a movie with a message that touches the heart!

2008-01-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

I had a few expectations when I went to watch this movie... and I am happy to say that I was totally satisfied. The movie is about a dyslexic child and how he is misunderstood and mistreated by everyone, including his own parents. It is a story of hope, where the child finally overcomes his obstacles, with the help of a teacher who himself has been through the same problem. His family finally accepts him and we have a happy ending... (what can I say... I am partial to happy endings... :P)

The protagonist of the movie Ishaan Awasthi, played by Darsheel Safary, is very real. I think child actors are really giving great performances these days... The astounding performance of Darsheel was reminiscent of the phenomenal performance of Freddie Highmore in August Rush. The other actors in the movie all seem very real. Not many known faces in the movie, which is a sort of a beneficial factor; the good thing is that each of the characters has played his or her part to perfection. Aamir is at his usual best! Of course, we can overlook the three professors at the boarding school; not that they haven't delivered, but their characters seem unbaked or too hypothetical - there could have been more depth provided to at least one of them. We can also neglect the fact that the movie could have been a few minutes shorter... The movie, as a whole, makes up for all the flaws.

Music in the movie is good too... and so are the lyrics! I was really touched by the song "Maa...", where the child sings out to his mother. "I have always been afraid of the dark, but I did not say anything... I always cared for you, but I may not have shown it... but you always knew me, you always knew everything... please do not leave me... do not send me away... am I really that bad, my dear mom?" The lyrics are really poignant. And the picturisation is great too. The other song that moved me was the title song. They really brought tears to my eyes.

The very concept of the movie is so real. When people do not understand you, or what you are going through, they just follow the traditional path, saying "you are just being stubborn, you can do anything if you really put your mind to it." This has been perfectly captured in the movie where the father of the dyslexic child just thinks that the child is acting up or is just being stubborn and hence, is not being good at school-work. That is the problem with the close-minded educated people... they "think" they know everything... but very few realise that there is always something that we do not know, something that might be true and real if we just try to understand!

In the movie, the teacher puts the father in his place when he asks him to read Chinese... saying he just has to make up his mind, he has to work hard and he would be able to do it... the exact same words that were used for the child who just could not get it! The helplessness of the child then dawns upon the father, but again being "practical", his comeback is "what would he do in the society? how will he live?" Hmmm... that makes sense and is something that needs to be thought about too. But again, what is society? It is we who make up the society! If the society has to accept something or realise the issues, someone has to pioneer... First of all, we should ourselves understand the issues and then, accept it... only then do we have to think about the society...

The child was really lucky to have found a person who has been through the same problem, else he might have ended up becoming a withdrawn, depressed person, or a socio-path or might even have killed himself... I personally have seen my own friends going through lots of problems since they could not do well at school... they might all not have been dyslexic, some might have been... some might have had other issues. We basically have to try to understand the problem, instead of being stubborn about it and pressurizing the person involved. In a broader sense, we should try to understand, feel and recognise what people might be going through, instead of just being judgmental and bigoted. If we just make an effort to educate ourselves of the issues, instead of putting them down without even thinking, it would be a real help in most situations. And it shows that we care. I wish to see more Indian movies with good themes like this... Overall, a really wonderful movie with a ray of hope and a good message.

August Rush - a must-watch for music lovers!

2007-12-07T00:01:00.001-08:00

Back to talk about another movie... lol! Some movies strike a chord in us, and I just have to write about them... anyways, it is better than some of my other melancholic writings on this blog... lol!

August Rush is an awesome movie with great music... the music combines the older styles with the modern styles and comes out to be totally soulful... The "Moondance" track was absolutely breathtaking... and the picturisation was amazing too... Sitting on the top of a building, meeting a nice guy and having him sing a song for you... with this haunting music in the background... is that not simply "out-of-the-world" kind of romantic? The other track "Something inside" and "This time" were captivating too. Apart from the music, I was totally enthralled by the voice and the accent with which they are rendered... totally delightful! "Raise It Up" was a really soulful rendition... The duelling of guitars by the father-son duo was so very innovative (maybe it is not... I have not followed the history of how a guitar is played.... whatever the case, this was beautiful) And the final rhapsody... I have no words to describe it... genuinely mesmerising!

The music aside.... the storyline of the movie, performances, conversations... undeniably terrific! Be it the defiance in the eyes of Freddie when he confronts the bullies at the boy's home that he believes he would meet his parents... the total sense of loss and helplessness in Keri's eyes when she finds that her son is alive and she has no idea where he is... the carefree, adorable, gripping character of Jonathan... or the villainous, repulsive character of Robbie... each and every single actor has given his best! Serendipity and sentimentality are two pillars on which the movie stands... and both hold it up well... I was totally bowled over by the movie...

As they say in the movie, music is ubiquitous, everywhere... you just have to listen! We should try to listen to the sounds, rather than just hear to them... and we should just try to follow our heart, never lose hope... a great movie with a good message, with music that leaves us spellbound... what more can we want from a movie... Absolutely loved it!

Enchanted... the real world meets the fairy-tale world!

2007-12-06T12:57:00.000-08:00

"Enchanted" is a breath of fresh air. The movie is cheesy, with lots of music. If you are one of those people who hate cheesy movies, it is definitely not for you! I personally loved the movie. It is not real... totally fake! But well, who cares... it was fun!

Amy Adams as Giselle has done justice to her role... she is pretty and innocent, and her transformation from a fairy tale imaginary being to the real world person is well portrayed. Patrick Dempsey as Robert Philip, a father whose wife has run away, who has lost his belief in fairy tales, is credible and handsome... well, the Grey's Anatomy star just gets better with age, huh? ;)

James Marsden has nothing much to do in the movie other than being cute, cheesy and funny... he manages to deliver that with perfection! This photo just proves it... ;)

The other actors are great too... Idina Menzel as Nancy, the girl whom Patrick wants to marry till he finds Amy; Susan Sarandon as the evil queen; Timothy Spall as Nathaniel, the only character with shades of gray... all the actors and the movie as a whole is lovable!

The movie had a great song which I found totally adorable... "That's How You Know..." is totally overboard, but delightful nevertheless! I was almost ready to start singing and dancing with Giselle! lol... totally out of character for me, but well... I've started appreciating art more these days! I really want to attend a live musical or a concert one of these days ;)

Anyways, the movie also had some food for thought... would you be Giselle, who prefers coming to the real world to a fairy-tale existence... or would you choose to be Nancy, who prefers going to the fairy-tale world to the real one? Maybe, it is true that grass is always greener on the other side? ;) But, I guess it does not matter much as long as you are with the person you love and he loves you too... cheesy? of course! hehe... practically speaking though, I would say we need to have at least some bit of a fairy-tale in our monotonous life... it adds on a touch of magic, change, optimism? And it just makes it better! :)

Priorities and options

2007-11-28T16:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, work has a soporific effect on me... today, it was rather because of the fatigue in my body... my usual shot of caffeine did not help much either! So, to keep myself awake, I started messaging a few of my friends on Orkut... a simple form of amusement I guess... :P Anyways, I came across a statement in one of my friend's profiles... really interesting declaration... here it goes:

"Never make someone a priority if they consider you an option"

It got me thinking... My mind started going into an overdrive (probably trying to keep itself awake, I guess... lol), weighing the pros and cons of the remark.

Is it really right that we should not make someone a priority if we are just an option for that person? Oh... by the way, if this is true, how applicable is this theory with respect to other issues in life? For instance, consider this situation of employment that might arise. Given a choice between an offer from a company who really wants you, and another from one who have you just as an option; the latter having a slight advantage over the former, what should you choose? Should you prioritize the latter offer even though you are just one among many options for them? Or should you choose the former where you are considered a priority? Of course, there are a lot of other factors that go into making such a decision...

I guess I digressed from the topic, an annoying habit of mine I haven't been able to get rid of... as much as I have tried :P... anyhow, coming back to the topic of human interaction, I think we should really be careful how we interpret this statement. When it comes to the normal course of interaction with people, such as social networking, friendships and the like, if we really start weighing the priorities placed by others in the interaction or relationship, we might eventually end up with nothing at all... It is the aggregate of all experiences in our life that make us who we are right now... the painful experiences as well as the pleasant encounters...

But we should really know where to draw the line, so to speak! If we feel that we are just giving too much of ourselves for something, that is just a whim or a fancy for the other person involved... Well, it is time to think... Are we really just an option? Do we really want to make them a priority? I guess, at such a juncture, it would do our own self esteem a world of good, as well as the others who care about us, if we realise the truth of the situation and move on... When this happens with casual acquaintances or even some friends, it gets quite challenging to face it... but it gets far too worse when it happens with closer friends or when love is involved! The most important thing to realise is that any interaction or a relationship is a two-way street... as you sow, so you reap... ;)

I personally feel that we should try to keep ourselves as satisfied and upbeat as possible... not always feasible, but well... when we reach a certain saturation point, we do come to the stage where being mournful doesn't help and it just seems too pathetic... lol! And we should then try to be happy with ourselves.. try to make others happy... try to help people who really need it... this always surely helps! And finally, trying to get back to the topic of discussion (before I go off along another tangent... lol), I feel we should always have this remark about priorities and options in the back of our mind, but we should look at life with a more positive outlook (the eternal optimist in me trying to peek out here I guess...).

Anaamika...

2007-10-30T14:59:00.000-07:00

I was talking to one of my close friends a few days back... we were discussing about the twists and turns in life... in general... how easy it is to talk to someone who cares and understands! How difficult it gets sometimes... how strong we grow with time... it was a very interesting conversation!

And here is a song I have been listening repeatedly for the past few days... lol... I know the lyrics by heart now...

Meri Bheegi Bheegi Si, Palkon Pe Reh Gayee
Jaise Mere Sapne Bikhar Ke
Jale Man Tera Bhi, Kisi Ke Milan Ko
Anaamika, Tu Bhi Tarse
Meri Bheegi ...

Tujhe Bin Jaane, Bin Pehchaane
Maine Hriday Se Lagaya
Par Mere Pyar Ke Badle Men Tuune
Mujhko Ye Din Dikhalaya
Jaise Biraha Ki Ritu Maine Kati
Tadapake Aanhen Bhar Bhar Ke
Jale Man Tera ...

Aag Se Nata, Nari Se Rishta
Kahe Man Samajh Na Paya
Mujhe Kya Hua Tha, Ik Bevafa Se
Haay Mujhe Kyon Pyar Aaya
Teri Bewafai Pe, Hanse Jag Sara
Gali Gali Guzare Jidhar Se
Jale Man Tera ...

And a rough summary of the song in English...

Like the shattered dreams that were left on my wet eyelashes...
May your mind also burn, Anaamika, may you thirst for the companionship of someone.

I brought you close to my heart without knowing you, without recognizing you...
But in return of my love you showed me these days.
Like I suffered the period of separation, tormented, sighing, may your mind also burn.

Why did my mind not understand that a relationship with a woman is like a bond with fire?
What had happened to me? Why did I fall in love with an unfaithful...
The world will laugh at your infidelity in every lane that you go by.

Interesting song... it is a deeply stirring emotional play of words... What an exquisite name for someone you love... Anaamika... "nameless"... the named "nameless" person you love... I was wondering if you would wish that the person you love would burn in agony just like you... maybe you could wish that they thirst for your companionship, but I do not know how you could wish that they agonise for you... maybe it is true that "any" relationship is like a bond with fire... cannot avoid them, have to get burnt and live with it... huh? Maybe... maybe not... Nevertheless, a really well-rendered, soulful, beautiful song!

Time flies by... waits for none!

2007-09-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

Time... the most fundamental quantity... cannot be accelerated, nor can be decelerated by anyone. Whatever happens, time plows ahead! The same rate, the same measured steps... One of my crazy imaginations again... here it comes... Can anyone stop time? How wonderful it would be to bottle away some time for oneself! The good memories to be re-lived again and again... Discard the bad ones... but would we be the same people we are, if we had not gone through all the experiences? Maybe, maybe not... nevertheless, that does not mean we have to experience the bad things...

Yesterday I was watching a movie, as usual... when the daughter asks her mother if there was one thing that she could change in her life, one thing that she could go back and do it in another way, what would that be... and the mother answers..."Nothing"... hmmm... and the explanation she gives is that she is happy now and without doing the things the way she had done, she would not be at this moment right now... Interesting justification... how many of us would be able to say this about our lives? Personally, given a choice, I can surely come up with at least a couple of things that I would redo in a different way in my life. I think a lot of us mere mortals, would have a plethora of things that we would want to change in our past...

Does that mean we are not happy with our present life? I do not think so... things are fine.... going on okay... maybe not the best that they can be... they could really be better! But they could be worse too... some decisions we make have an everlasting consequence on the rest of our lives, on the people around us... we can just hope that they are the best under the given circumstances...

I also came across this series called "The Last Lecture"... if there was one lecture that you can give before you die, what would it be? Really fascinating concept... and I watched an episode where a professor from CMU talked... it was a really inspiring lecture... Other than the fact that I realised that we have to live out life to the fullest, looking at his zest for life, one other element that struck a chord in me was when he mentioned that "If you do not like a person, it is just because you have not spent enough time with them; just give a person some time and you will eventually like them". I think that this is totally true. There is at least one quality on every person that will make them affable to us. A truly enlightening lecture.

Lol... this blog again looks as disorganised as always... trying to bring in some sort of organisation, some sort of flow, some sort of surity into the blog, just as we keep trying to do with our lives, I end this one now... :)

Life... is it not weird?

2007-08-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

I saw this quote a couple of days back : "Just when we think we have found all the answers (okay, not all, but most of them) to life... life changes the question." I thought about the statement and realized the enormity of truth it conveys. Life is so filled with twists and turns that we are never allowed to settle down. Just when we feel we are done with some issues, new issues arise, new things come up. Maybe this is life's way of counteracting monotonicity.

Just when you do not know some facts, life opens up a plethora of options which you never knew existed! And just when you are trying to try out some new stuff, you realize that some things are just ingrained too deep in you to get away from! And just when you have accepted some things are just the way they are, life shoots more arrows at you (some in a good way, some not too pleasant :P). When you think you are following a straight road, without any split ends, you find yourself at a fork, wondering what to do. And sometimes the decision depends on other people! And if we are used to being in control, this situation makes us feel like we are in a free-fall... no gravity, just falling in vacuum... into an abyss of darkness? or into a well of pervasive bliss? It would be easier if we are in control... however, that is not the case always... some things do depend on others!

Is it not weird that we do not like monotonic, humdrum affairs of life, but we still would like to have a break from the wild jaunt life takes us on? I do not know if it is fine to generalize this feeling though :P. Personally, I feel that way for sure. Sometimes I prefer the straight roads in Texas to the curved, fun-filled ones in California (or at least I think I should)... sometimes I just think it might be better to remain unaware of some stuff, and accept things as they are. One of my friends says I think too much and I should not... lol... I guess I should try to follow his advice! But as we all know, the human mind is like an unbridled horse... it runs freely without inhibitions, without control... imagination is unbounded... emotions are illogical...

Lol... now that I re-read this blog, it seems all too weird, too bizarre, too disconnected? haha... I am too simple a person to think of all this stuff... Is it something I am feeling or is it something I just write? Nevertheless, it gives another perspective to be able to read what you have written... more food for thought? Or is the mind too replete for more food?

The Notebook - a timeless love story!

2007-07-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in eternal love? I do not know if I do, but I want to... it is really nice to have a notion in your heart that such a thing exists, though your head might say the exact opposite. I saw the movie "The Notebook" for the second time, and every time I watch the movie, it touches me the same way, more deeply though. And I almost cry by the end of the movie each time!

The love that Noah and Allie have for each other is really well portrayed in the movie. You can feel yourself becoming part of the characters, identifying yourself with them, crying with them, laughing with them, loving with them... you lose yourself in the movie. Not only is the love between the protagonists displayed well in the movie, but also the subtle feelings of love and relationship between Noah and Martha, Allie and Matt are really shown brilliantly. The relationship between Noah and his father, Noah and his best friend Fin, Allie and her mother are so close to reality, you can feel that you are one with the characters. The fact that the love between Noah and Allie grows with time, and that they do live happily ever after (it depends on how we see it - I, being an eternal optimist, see it this way ;) ) is one of the wonderful things about the movie. When Noah says that science can only explain up to a certain extent, then comes God, it really touches a chord in you. The letters that Noah writes to Allie are so awesome that a person would totally fall in love with Noah just for the sake of the letters, if not for anything else! You do not feel that it is a movie, but you become a part of the entire experience.

The concept of eternal love is so romantic, I do not know whether I have to say it is delusional, or should I say it is mythical? Nevertheless, I believe in it, or I think it exists. Maybe not every person can find it, but it does exist. As I read somewhere, every person is half a piece of a full picture. Some are lucky to find the the other half, some are not. You can get to love a person, but it might not be possible to be really "in love" with the person. That person may not be your other half, but anyways, a good companion for this life. There is a subtle difference between "loving" and being "in love". What about me? I do not know... maybe in this life, maybe in another, I do hope to find the "other half"... Well, what can I say... I am a hopeless romantic... delusional maybe, but an eternal romantic for sure... :)

Reality and Perception

2007-06-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

My mind is a jumble of thoughts now. Maybe totally disorganised, but well I'll try to write them out in as much an organised way as possible. I was just thinking about the way people tend to perceive what they see and observe. And how much reality is different from perception.

Reality, as defined in wikipedia (one of the few knowledge bases I trust ;) ), refers to the state of things as they actually exist. Perception is defined to be the process of acquiring, interpreting, selecting and organizing sensory information. Generally, we acquire the facts from the reality, interpret them according to our beliefs, select whatever is in conjunction with our thoughts and organise that as the reality. In this process, the actual reality may be interpreted in a completely wrong way.

People tend to love their perception of things than the actual reality. It is the natural tendency of the human mind, I guess, to imagine that things exist as it intends them to be. Anything out of the ordinary, and the mind tends to question that, and if not able to explain that or to accept that, the mind just tends to ignore the event. Weird, but true. People generally tend to ignore or deny some facts, since they do not want to believe that there is a problem, or they have just accepted that there is no solution to the problem. Well, as they say, ignorance is bliss ;) and with knowledge comes responsibility. It is much easier to live in ignorance than with knowledge of the actual reality and a wrong perception.

I am not a student of psychology, but I am very interested in some nuances of the subject. Some people may argue that psychology is not even a science, a pseudo-science maybe! But well, I certainly believe that psychology is a science, something that needs to be understood in depth. Human mind is one of the most complex concepts in this universe and trying to understand why one behaves in a particular way under a particular circumstance is one of the toughest things to do. This needs in-depth understanding and studying of the behavior of people. This may include psycho-analysis, physiology of the human body and many such related areas. Hence I have a strong belief that psychology is one of the most important and complex aspects of modern science. But even to this day, people are not ready to accept psychology as something important, an indispensable part of the every-day life... I do not know how long it is going to take for people to actual sit up, accept reality (not their perception... lol) and move on in life! Not in this lifetime, I guess... :)

Lol.. I tried to organise the thoughts as much as I could... though I cannot see much of a flow in this blog... well, as I said the human mind is complex... it thinks of all weird things in a weird sort of way! ;)

No blogging for looong - time for another one!!!

2007-05-29T16:04:00.000-07:00

Life's been changing... I just remembered these verses of a poem I had read when I was a kid:

"Baduku jataka bandi, vidhi adara sahebha
kudure nee, avanu peldanthe payanigaru,
maduvego, masanako hogenda,
kadegodu, padakusiye nelavihudu mankutimma…"

A great poet in Kannada wrote these verses... and here is the translation: "Life is akin to a horse cart whose driver is none other than destiny; man is the horse who will go wherever he is directed to go unquestioningly." When I was in my eighth grade, I had to learn the poem by heart and write essays about it! I was too young and naive to understand the depths of the poem. And how true it is in our lives...

I have been having this vague feeling that I am totally out of control of my life, it is being played out for me and I am just being led on to wherever it is taking me. I am no longer sure of stuff in life. I used to be this ever-confident, ever-optimistic guy... not that I am not all of that now... but I have taken a step back and looking at life from another person's eyes, maybe... or maybe I am just living in phases, where I am changing constantly from one phase to the next...

Sometimes I feel life is all interesting and cheery, sometimes I feel it is so boring and sad! Sometimes I miss home and friends a lot, sometimes I do not even feel like calling up home or talking to anyone... Sometimes I wish I was a kid going to school without any worries, sometimes I wish I just have to go off somewhere all alone and stay there forever! haha... too weird thoughts for me...

I read the last couple of my blogs and I felt that I have been writing some really weird things... I don't know why... :) Anyways, it's a way of getting things out of the system or thinking out loud, maybe! Anyways, it feels good to write; I had the sudden urge to write now, sudden inspiration if I may so (though I don't think people write such s**t from inspiration... hahahaha)! And so, here pops up a blog!

Deep musings...

2007-03-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was talking to my mom on the phone, as I do everyday... :P Usually, the way our conversation goes is: what I did for the day, which is pretty much the same almost every other day; if I talked to my brother or any of my uncles; what they did; what they had for breakfast (lol ... what else do you expect if you speak everyday! And unlike in the US, breakfast is an important part of the day back home); and if any new things happened - relatives, friends and stuff. Well, she made a comment about me not speaking much, that I'm not being all happy and interested, like I used to be when I was back in school! Hehe... what can I say, maybe it is true, maybe it is not! I guess I was tired out after I went back home from work and gym (lol... I started gymming again a week back! It's damn tiring till I get used to it again... )

Have I changed? Yes, I am sure I have... As someone said, "CHANGE is the only CONSTANT thing in life." Is it for the good? I don't know... it depends on the perspective. Do I think a lot? I guess I do, maybe I should not... most of my time is spent either on the phone, or on the computer... maybe some time with my roomie watching movies! Other than that, the few other people I meet are at work; I do not know why but I am not too close to most people at work... maybe it is because I have not tried to, or maybe they have not tried to... not that I am a difficult person to talk to... on the contrary, most of my friends would testify otherwise! I do meet some people when I am at the malls and stuff... well they are the random people, who have their own lives, just a "hello, how are you doing" sort of stuff... but interesting conversations sometimes!

I wonder if I would have become the way I am, if I was back home the whole time... no way! Or if I was still in school... again the answer is pretty obvious... no way! Am I happy with the way life is leading me? I guess I'm okay with it... not all gay and joyous... but not sad and melancholic either! In fact, sometimes I think that life is just dragging me along and I'm in this huge wave that's just leading me and I'm okay with wherever it is taking me! I just have this vague feeling of elation and dysphoria at the same time...

On a happy note, as always, being the eternal optimist that I am (or I think I am... lol), "whatever happens is for the best!", though I maybe just "okay" with things... :)

Random thoughts.....

2007-02-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

Just some random ramblings... when I was sitting at the mall sipping on my chocolate milk shake, looking at people walking around... I started wondering... having random thoughts... :)

I wonder... how it would be to have life stop... I mean everything coming to a standstill! People just frozen in what they were doing... people sitting in front of their computers chatting away, or working on something.... with their eyes wide open and frozen as a statue... or people talking on their cell phones with their expressions and mouths open and fixed... kids just frozen when they are playing... people with frozen expressions stopped in the middle of whatever they were doing... birds flying in the skies just frozen as in a landscape picture...

And in the middle of all that I just exist... hehe! Nothing to worry, nothing to do... nothing I have to complete or act in a particular way... no expectations to live up to... no one to ask what I am doing! Just exist in space... doing nothing, on my own... I could be whoever I want to be... do whatever I want to do! no one to question me, no one to look at me with approving/disapproving eyes! Just pure existence... all I have to do is exist...

haha.... not that I want to do something that someone would disapprove... but still just a thought! well, just that I wonder how it will feel to have that happen... maybe in some other life... some other time, anything is possible! I supposedly love my life as it is... or I think I really enjoy it... maybe I do... or I think I have to think that way or whatever... hehe... But for now, back to the life I am living now... :)

A new year....

2007-01-03T13:18:00.000-08:00

It's been a fortnight since I last blogged... Sumeet came down here 2 San Diego... We had great fun! I turned 24... hehehe... I don't feel much different though! Thanks 2 Sumeet, it was a good birthday... These are one of the times I miss Dallas and home too... :) Anyway, new year's wasn't that great... I mean I didn't go out and party or anything... I do not know many people in this place... Maybe I've got to start to get to know people... Lets' see...

Today, I got a mail from one of my good friends... a long mail, about how the year 2006 was for her and what she hopes of 2007. It got me thinking... how it went for me...

I'm deep in thoughts there! ;) haha.. Enough of contemplation now! The ocean was cool, though! ;)

2006 was good for me too... moved to this new place... miss my friends there... but started a new life here! Its good - has its own bag of advantages and disadvantages... haha... That's what life is all about nah... anyway! :) San Diego is a really great place... people are cool too... 've never been on my own before... here, I am... Even when I was a student, I had friends around me all the time... Here sometimes I am alone... but kinda nice I guess... only sometimes it may get a bit lonely... but always have the phone for such times! I just go out to the malls, sit there and watch people sometimes... hehehe! Nice to be able to just do that - nothing else 2 do, clear your mind and just watch! hehehe... And I've seen all sorts of people here... And it seems so cool and different! :)

And I'm sticking to my motto this year too... "Whatever happens, happens for the best!!!" :) really cool one there... I believe in that and that's how I go on in life... without that I could not be what I am I guess...

I guess I've grown as a person mentally... matured is a better word I guess.. I still remember my first "love"... or what I though was "love"... hehehe! I did have a few crushes before that.. but this was real "love" I thought! Now I look back at myself and have a laugh! hahaha... Seriously now I think of it... I'd never forgiven the person... or I thought it was her loss! Think about being "full of oneself"... hehe... though it might have been true ;) But now I really don't think it was anybody's fault... haha... it was never meant to be! Good for all of us... and move ahead in life! :) Maybe next time I get an opportunity, I won't shy away from meeting her... I care a f*** now... hahaha and who knows what'll happen tomorrow! It's always good 2 say at least a hi/hello nah... :)

Regarding my resolutions, I was thinking of starting to go to the gym... but haven't made it a resolution! hehehe... kinda not sure of that! I need a workout buddy to keep me motivated... can't find one! :(
What else... maybe I'll try new stuff... hehe... but'll make sure it doesn't affect me in a huge way! 'm happy the way I am now! :) And I think I've started this... and hope 2 continue... expect less from others... hehehe... then it doesn't hurt! :) And try not 2 hurt anyone intentionally! That's it I guess... :)

A really beautiful song... a theme for my dream!

2006-12-14T15:41:00.000-08:00

I was downloading some songs online to burn them onto a CD and listen in my car... :) lol... Anyway, I came across this song and loved it immediately... So, I went and looked for the video and here it is... I guess the song "Pal Pal.." from "Lage raho Munnabhai" has the same tune... but this song really rocks! so beauuuuutifullll.... "A Theme for my Dream"... so romantic...

Look at the lyrics!!!

You are my theme for a dream
Yes you are, a rare and lovely theme (youre a theme for a dream)
The dreams I dream day and night
That your arms are holding me so tight (youre a theme for a dream)

When I dream I kiss you (kiss you)
Music fills with starlight (starlight)
Every time I touch you ( when I touch you)
Each and every time a chime rings out I love you
Only you for ever more

cause youre my theme for a dream
Yes you are a rare and lovely theme (youre my theme for a dream)
So, angel please say that you love me too
And make my dreams come true dream (youre my theme for a dream)

When I dream I kiss you (kiss you)
Music fills with starlight (starlight)
Every time I touch you ( when I touch you)
Each and every time a chime rings out I love you
Only you for ever more

cause youre my theme for a dream
Yes you are a rare and lovely theme (youre my theme for a dream)
So, angel please say that you love me too
And make my dreams come true dream

And make my dreams come true
Please make my dreams come true.

Some random test I took online! Am I totally jobless.... not! I am bored actually! ;)

2006-12-12T14:51:00.001-08:00

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships.

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.

A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability.
You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea.
Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion.
You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone.
If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

The Devil's Advocate

2006-11-14T16:22:00.000-08:00

I saw this movie "The Devil's Advocate" last weekend. It was a long movie, but it was good. The movie was interesting and gave a lot of food for thought. Of course, the lead pair of Keanu and Charlize was awesome... ;) Al Pacino was his usual cool self. Anyway, the movie made me think about the "Devil" or "Satan" in each of us... And the dialogue that I recall from the movie the most is: "Behold I send you out as sheep amidst the wolves..."

Vanity, my favorite sin.... the devil proclaims! Interesting, since every one of us is vain to an extent... everyone of us thinks of self before others I guess... of course, you cannot avoid it. But I have been trying to practise one thing when I deal with others - I think of what I would have done in their situation and if what they are doing is really so unreasonable and stuff like that... It is tough, but helps in some situations. I also feel that we should be good to others and only then can we expect the same from them. And always I try to help someone if I am able to do it... but I think I used to have more opportunities t help people when I was back home... don't know why... maybe I changed... or there is a lack of opportunity... don't know! Even with all this, I have my own vices... as everyone has!

I think this blog is so full of unrelated and random thoughts... some time for introspection I guess...

I wonder... what if...

2006-10-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision in life... you know I have always wondered what is the right thing that decides a person's choice of his career! Is it the choice of your parents, your own interest/passion, your aptitude, your circumstances, practical issues, absence/presence of good opportunities, or is it just destiny... or a combination of all these? Hmmm..... I have pondered over this quite a lot...

Well, I do not know about others, but I guess there were a variety of reasons for me to take up the career I have chosen! Back home in India, the usual career path for anyone is either to become "an engineer" or "a doctor". My parents have never forced their decisions on me, though they have always been full of "suggestions". I am sure they wanted me to be either of these, but they would never have forced me to take up one of them, in case I really did not want to do that! I, being an "ideal" son you may say ;) took up one of them, of course!

Ever since I was a kid, I always dreamed of being a doctor. I imagined that I would some day be able to save someone's life; someone would think of me in respect... well, basically I always thought I would be a doctor; in fact, I had even gone to the extent of "choosing" my "specialisation" as cardiology or gynecology..... :) So my passion had always been to become a "medical doctor" (you see, I could still do my PhD and become a so called "doctor"! hahaha... I do not think I will be doing that now anyway)

As far as my aptitude goes, I guess I was quite a decent student in school. My family placed a lot of importance on education and I was interested in it as well... My favorite subjects as I grew up were Mathematics, Chemistry and Zoology (I guess medicine would be a better term)... a strange combination - don't you think? Most of my friends who took up medicine hated mathematics or they found it difficult. And most of my fellow engineers hated anything to do with biology! I was interested in both... I had a decent ability to solve problems in geometry/trigonometry/calculus and loved zoology though I was not that good at drawing the figures... I guess most of the doctors do not have a good handwriting or drawing abilities anyway ;) or is it just that they want to write illegibly? I do not know!

Circumstances/practical issues? Well... I guess I was thinking about my long term plans when I had to make a decision regarding my career. Till my tenth grade, I always dreamed of being a doctor... it was then that I realised that if I was to be a doctor, it would take me 5.5 years to complete the Bachelor's degree, followed by maybe 2-3 years of Master's and maybe more specialisation to follow. Also, I heard from people that just academic merit would not ensure a seat in the Master's program. Settling down as a doctor in India is much harder as compared to being a doctor in the US. If I were to be an engineer, I could finish my bachelor's in 4 years, Master's within 2 years in the US and have a decent job back home in India. These were the issues I had to think about! We were financially stable but I do not think we were so well off that I could just not worry about stuff... I know my parents would have loved me to take up medicine if I was interested in that! So, it was just left to me to decide!

The other factor I talked about is the presence/absence of opportunities. Well, I almost decided that I would be a software engineer by the time I was in my eleventh grade. But I never neglected biology - I don't know why but I just could not bring myself not to study biology! Maybe I had to prove to myself, or others, I do not know, that I had a choice of taking up the career of my choice. After my twelfth grade, I had a good score in both the engineering as well as the medical streams - the final moment of decision came! And I chose as I had decided - A Software Engineer in a good engineering college!

Well, I think it was a combination of all the different factors, and of course the most important factor - "DESTINY" that I ended up being a software engineer. Not that I do not love my profession, I like it and enjoy what I do, but I will always be in awe of a doctor... I always have these thoughts when I am alone and relaxing, when I do not have anything else to think I guess ;) ... "what if I had been a surgeon... what if... "

But the optimist that I am, I always believe that whatever has happened has happened for the best! And I am happy with what I am now... :) Yet, I wonder... what if.....

Relax.... and be contented!

2006-10-19T12:41:00.000-07:00

Just got a mail from a friend, with a link to another blog... a really nice one I felt! The blog talks
about a song with some great lyrics.. about the importance of some stuff in life and the like.

"Baz Luhrmann:Everybody's Free (To Wear SUNSCREEN)"

is the song I think. Gotta listen to that song today!

It's so true that we get to know the value of a thing only when we lose it.... and even though we know it, we rarely realise it and make up for it... the human nature is that way I guess... and it's also absolutely true that you need to enjoy the small things in life, you need to take time to enjoy the beauty of nature - to hear the chirping of the birds, to watch a beautiful sunset, to smell the fresh earth when it has just begun to rain, to feel the drops of dew on grass early in the morning, to taste the first drops of rain... I do know that these are the small things that make you happy, in the monotonic melancholy of life. But I do not know if I really do that - of course, I try to do it when I get a chance... but it's been a long time since I got one... I did get to watch the sunset at the beach - that really made my day (though it was the end of the day ;))

It is such a great feeling to just relax in the sun with no worries, no thoughts - just enjoy the moment alone, or with a good friend! I think you need to do that periodically to get some sense of hope and "life" into your life! I do not know when I will get a chance to do that... hope it will be sometime soon... hope... "HOPE" is the only constant thing in life I guess... I, being such an eternal optimist (I tell my friend that I am enough "positive" for the both of us, and he is enough "negative" for the two of us...!), I do not know what will happen the day I give up hope... "Hope" that I never give up "HOPE"!

Life goes on....

2006-10-12T15:09:00.000-07:00

Work seems to be going on fine; actually I'm getting to enjoy work more these days. I guess that's because I have lots to do now and I see people having an interest in what I am doing. I think people's interest in your work, concern for you and the general environment is a great motivating factor. And I think that's what keeps me going - of course, other than that life is so mechanical.

Meeting someone in an unconventional way and getting to be friends is really cool I think. Like meeting someone in the bus or a library or on the internet and talking, exchanging snippets and feelings about stuff - it all seems so different and relieving to talk to someone you don't even know, and you don't even care! Getting to be friends and making new friends is always an interesting thing.

Yesterday, I'd been out to the beach with friend. It was really cool. It was the first time I went to a beach. It seems to be so serene and peaceful, just the sound of the waves and the squawking of the sea gulls. The sunset was awesome. I promised myself to get some snaps of the beautiful sunset some time.

Romantic Comedies

2006-09-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill, Nine Months... well, the list goes on... I love this genre of movies. Being an avid movie buff, I watch almost all kinds of movies. My choices are romantic comedies, magic/fiction, science/fiction, action and horror in that order. I really hate the tragic movies - my personal opinion is that after watching a movie, you should feel refreshed, happy and light at heart! And that's exactly what a romantic comedy does for me.

I watched "You've Got Mail" on DVD yesterday! A great movie - moves really well... emotions shown so well... and Meg Ryan, of course. She's not all that cure and pretty, but she is attractive. I feel there is a slight difference between "being attractive" and "being pretty". A person who is really beautiful may not be attractive, and vice versa. The classical example of being attractive, but not all that pretty is my favorite heroine - Kajol!

Anyway, back to the topic of romantic comedies, the one thing about these movies is that they all have a happy ending! I believe that whatever happens in life, happens for the best.
Of course, it may not be the thing you want to happen right now, but I guess, in the long run, it is the best thing to happen for you. Romantic movies are usually centered around this idea. And I believe that "being happy" is the most important thing in life. So, if watching a movie makes you happy - go ahead, get yourself involved, identify yourself with the characters and be HAPPY! And that's why I love romantic comedies - they are the "feel good" type of movies... which make us forget our depressions and sadnesses in life at least for a brief period. And they make me love life more! I repeatedly realise that life is short and I have to enjoy it, let my loved ones know that I care and such things... Anyway, I guess I'm waiting to watch my next DVD - "Sleepless in Seattle"... I am a hopeless romantic I guess... :)

A long long time... updates!

2006-09-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a long time since I blogged. I will surelay make it a point to blog at least once a week from now on! Well, a lot of stuff has happened over the past few weeks... The "freaking-out" days are over. Let me start over from the beginning of August. After the 2-day trip to the Yellowstone National Park with my uncle and aunt, I had my graduation ceremony on the 5th. Sumeet, my aunt and uncle, my bro Abhi, friends.... it was fun! The sad part was that I had to leave Dallas... Dallas has been really great for the two years I have lived there! Great place, great friends, everything within 15-30 minutes... it was real fun!

Everything has to change... as I've heard so many times, change is the only constant thing in life. I started my visits to Austin and LA before the trip to my final destination - "San Diego". Austin was cool - had fun with Abhi and Sumeet there, watched some movies, practised driving, did a bit of shopping for Abhi... That weekend I left to LA - my cousin's birthday there... that was good. The party was great - lots of people... and lots of fun. In LA, I just spent time reading some stuff online or chatting with my friends or just lazing around in the house...

And finally, moved to my new house in San Diego on 27th after a brief house hunting trip earlier that week. The trip was cool - I used the Amtrak train service - the view of the ocean on one side of the track was awesome... San Diego is really a great place to live in (of course, I still love Dallas), the place is expensive, but still it is worth it I guess... I started my work on Monday - work seems to be interesting too... hopefully, it remains so for a long time! In the last weekend (long one), I missed out on a trip to San Francisco with my friends... but did a fair bit of shopping for the house with my roomie... the house is almost completely furnished now; just got to arrange some stuff and everything should be almost done by this weekend!

I will sign off now and will write here soon! ' got some work to do you know! ;)

Freaking out!

2006-06-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

I think I've been just putting off writing the blog! Here goes a long one!

It's been great fun for the last month! Other than working on my thesis, and of course, some TA work, I am just having fun. My friend Sumeet had come over for the long weekend at the end of May. We went out and watched a couple of movies...

"Fanaa" was a decent movie; the highlight of the movie was, of course, Kajol - no words to describe her in the movie... totally f***ing awesome! We watched a second movie at home - "Just like Heaven" - this one was just okay I guess. It was a story of a doctor's spirit who still thinks she is alive and haunts her house, where a new guy stays, the guy helps her find out that she is in coma - and finally they end up together! A feel good type of movie and you know I love them! Other than that, we went around the university, ate out and basically spent most of ur time talking and having fun!

Can you believe it - we also went to watch another movie - "She's the man" - a modern adaptation of the Shakespeare comedy - "The twelfth night" - it was good too. A "feel good" movie again - the story of twins - where the female dresses up as her brother and falls in love with his new roommate at school... and a comedy of errors ensues. A good comedy to watch!

The next week, we had a spate of treats - people treating for their jobs and stuff... had good food outside and enjoyed it. My treat was at "India Palace" - around 20 of us had gone for dinner and food was good; anyway, it was the bill that shocked me - can you imagine? it was $500! We can f***ing feed a hundred people back home with such money! Anyway, since we had fun, it was okay I guess!

That weekend, I think we'd been to "Arrowhead State Park" in Oklahoma... We did trekking and stuff there... was just okay!

At the Arrowhead State Park

The week after that, I'd been to watch Fanaa again - although the movie wasn't so good that I could sit through the movie twice, Kajol was the only reason I went for it.

I also watched "Da Vinci Code" - one of the few movies where most of the facts in the book have been maintained and shown as well... a good movie to watch! The book was great, the movie was fine... Tom Hanks has acted just fine I guess, but Audrey was superb. I can say the movie did justice to the book as much as possible.

We had been out on a short trip to "Six Flags" during that weekend - "SiX Flags" is an amusement park here in Dallas... we had great fun there, going on rides - scary ones but exciting! Six of us had gone, and we enjoyed every moment of it, were totally exhausted by the end of the day! One more ride and I'd have puked out everything in my stomach!

At 6 Flags

Finally, last weekend was the greatest - we had been to Austin and San Antonio. We had been to my uncle's place there in Austin. ' caught up with Sumeet, went around his university! I love spending time with him... one of my closest friends, you see! We went to the State Capital and Lake Travis on the first day. On the second day, we went to the Sea World at San Antonio... had lots of fun there! That's one place you should never miss to see I feel! The Shamu show and some other shows involving dolphins, sea lions were fun! The water rides were good too.

The State Capital at Austin

With Sumeet at Sea World

With my aunt and uncle at Sea World

Basically, I have been freaking out for the entire month! Hopefully, I will get all my work done for my thesis during this week! That out of the way, I will be completely free, and I can enjoy life the way I want to!

In the midst of all this, I do have these depressing thoughts about what I am doing, what do I want in life and the like! God help me with this!

The Tristan Betrayal

2006-05-11T18:58:00.000-07:00

Robert Ludlum has always been one of those authors, whose books you cannot simply put down, once you have started reading one. I started reading the book "The Tristan Betrayal" yesterday night, and could not do anything else until I was done with the book. This is the effect some books have on me - so I really try to avoid reading novels... and I miserably fail at the attempt ;)

The story walks us through the extra-ordinary life of Stephen Matcalfe; the plots and subplots, the love and betrayal, history and international agencies - all woven into an intricate novel. Stephen's love for Lana, his betrayal to her, her knowledge of his betrayal, the depths to which he goes to save his love and redeem himself of the guilt, Lana's understanding of love and her sacrifice for saving the world and the final realisation of the true meaning of Lana's gift to him by Stephen - have all been really well written.

Of course, the actual plot of how history has been changed by the handiwork of a few brave and great individuals, the exact description of the Gestapo and the Russian intelligence - pull you into the novel deeper and deeper. At one point, you will be identifying yourself with Stephen, anticipating what will happen next...

The way the story ends is really astounding - it really came out of the blue for me; I was still thinking how will Stephen ever be able to avert the danger of a possible nuclear war... and I had already reached the last few pages of the novel. Well, the end really was good - I won't give it away here! The words "understand the special gift - the gift of love" mean a lot... and we all ought to do that...

Attended the graduation ceremony

2006-05-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was fun... attended the graduation party - the first one I attended. The one in my undergrad was just a party - no ceremony and stuff...

After being lazy and thinking whether to go or not, we finally decided to go and attend the ceremony before our own official ceremony on Aug 5. We saw some of the speeches online and then went to the Activity center... it was almost full - we were surprised to see that so many people graduating in Summer. Anyway, the ceremony was great - really felt good about it. Especially when the doctoral students were awarded their degree by their professors - I can imagine the feeling - it will be one of the best in the world I guess!

Now waiting for mine :)

Done with exams!

2006-04-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

It feels great to have completed all the exams... this week I am done with all the exams I will have to write for my Master's... Unofficially, I'm done with MS. Of course, I have my thesis to defend and I have to work on that - but I hope that should be okay! I have taken a short break now... just completed the grading of some reports - TA work!

Other than that, things are going pretty well. Yesterday, we went out and saw the movie - Basic Instinct II! Well, the plot line was good. Sharon Stone looks old; nothing like the first part. Anyway, it was a nice break to go out and watch a movie.

And finally, I have landed a job, in fact, 2 of them! It was really a tough decision to choose from the two. Finally, I went with my instinct and chose the one which I felt had better overall advantage. It was tough to reject the other job, but you have to do what you have to...

Now that I am almost settled, I want to have some fun... go out and see some places and stuff... let's see how this goes!

http://www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/challenge/index.htm

2006-04-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I was just "browsing net" - the usual way to pass time, even when you are really busy; and I came across this site which has a quiz on all things about Harry Potter:
http://www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/challenge/index.htm
I, being a Harry Potter fan, just wanted to try out and test my knowledge.

Well, in the first few tries, I could hardly answer 4 to 5 questions, without going wrong thrice! What else would happen - imagine being asked "What time did Sirius ask Harry to meet him ...?" And the answers are :

One thirty Saturday afternoon
Two Saturday afternoon
Two Sunday afternoon
Six Sunday Afternoon

Well, you would hardly remember such details when you read a book... anyway, I got to know the answer after getting some of them wrong... And the maximum I could go upto was 11 questions! I was so happy, I decided to" challenge a friend" - an option that allows you to brag about your score to a friend, giving his e-mail ID.

I did that and the next day, in my mail box - I see that my fellow HP fan, Gururaj has beaten me by almost double my score! He scored a clean 25... I am thinking that either he had the HP books to refer and answer the questions (imagine how jobless anyone should be to do this!), or he should have made many many attempts to get to know some answers and he was damn lucky as well! Anyway, I will try to match him... maybe some day soon!

Out of depression... and life goes on

2006-03-25T21:03:00.000-08:00

It has been quite a few days since I got out of the "depression phase". It got a good friend of mine to talk to me and get me out of it; and of course, my mom's pep talk always does the job! Anyway, I had to get out of it, I dunno how long I could live that way ;)

Anyway, now things are going on... classes, thesis and job hunting! Job hunting is such a boring task! Apply for a job; wait for an interview call; study for the phone interview; take it up; attend the on site interview if you get through and finally wait for the result. Well, I have just started applying and already this is my state! I guess I am not... Let's see what life has in store for me!

And also, I have come to one conclusion; a lot depends on your luck... everywhere in life! And the good will you earn also helps! Of course, how good you are also matters, but luck has a major role. Hoping 4 the best!

In bouts of depression

2006-03-09T11:24:00.001-08:00

I don't know why, but these past few days I have been deep in depression! Life looks so depressing, so boring! Just the usual work to do, and nothing good happening. Actually, I tried to get out of it and went out last weekend to "StockYards", near Fort Worth. It was a good place; a much needed break for me - but when I came back, I fell back into the same abyss of depression. Got to get out of this mood soon!

Watched Rang De Basanti

2006-02-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

"Rang De Basanti" (RDB) - I had some expectations from this movie ebfore I went to watch it! And I can only say that the movie was far beyond my expectations (actually, I can say that my expectations were quite low, thanks to the movie "Mangal Pandey")

The movie has good songs - actually, the good part is that you do not even realise that the movie has so many songs - the songs blend in well with the movie! The cinematography and editing is fantastic. The first half of the movie jus ttakes you along,the second half delivers a message! And, you get to watch another movie with the original one - "Bhagat Singh"!!! RDB has the story of Bhagat Singh completely told out... and it doesn't feel odd...

Coming to the acting skills in the movie, the chemistry among the actors is great. Each of the actors has acted his/her role to perfection. Comic timing is too good. Could you even think of a song coming out when the heroes in the movie are being killed??? And the song isn't a sad one - "Rubarooo..." is a happy song, with good beats... almost everything about the movie is different. Although I do not like movies that do not have a happy ending, I liked this movie! It is one of the few recent movies I have liked!

I saw "Zinda", the previous week - it is so gross and sick... I really hated that one! I'm waiting to watch a "feel good" movie... something like DDLJ, KKHH or K3G! Some things with people never change I guess - though I like "different" kinds of movies like RDB, Black..., I still would like to watch the "Feel Good" genre of movies! I am such a person!

Back from India, and finally back to blogging!

2006-01-21T14:03:00.000-08:00

It's been a real long time since I last blogged - busy with exams, then the trip to India; finally, back from home, and filled with an immense feeling of nostalgia. It does take a lot of time to get out of that feeling!

Anyway, the trip to India was awesome - had great fun there! Been out almost every weekend with friends... Had been to Garuda mall, Forum, Wonderla (this was fun), Amoeba... Every weekend we were out and having fun! Met most of my friends!

Visited almost all of my family - time with my cousins was fun! Here are my favorite cousins, Vibha and Varsha!

I love sitting in front of my computer in my room! I really miss that!

I miss my family, especially my mother and my little bro!

It was quite tough to leave everything and come back here! Life is back to the same routine: lot of work to do - two tough courses, work on my thesis, TA work, applying for jobs... lots to do! Got to start off anew!!!

Been very busy lately... Lots of things happening!

2005-11-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

It has been quite a long time since I last blogged - actually so many things are happening that I do not have time to blog at all! Last week was quite hectic at work as well as I had to do some work on my thesis. Other than that, the flight to Bangalore was canceled - NorthWest Airlines canceled the flight to Bangalore even before it was opened!Actually, all seats were booked and they are now providing for tickets through Mumbai - that is not good news for us - I heard that Mumbai is not a good place to enter India - high rate of corruption, you see.... Anyway, since I have no other choice now and the other flights are charging about $2200 if I book it now, I am going with the NW flight to Mumbai itself- I got this ticket for $1300 in June!

Then, one more pleasant surprise was that one of my friends back home is getting married in December... I may not be able to attend the wedding since it is a day after I arrive in Bangalore, and the wedding is not in Bangalore - I do not think I can travel the very next day I arrive home.

Then the weekend itself was great - did a lot of shopping - perfumes and clothes. The next time I will go for shopping will be in Thanksgiving time. My aunt and uncle wanted me to go and visit them during Thanksgiving, but I will be busy with my schoolwork and shopping - I will not be able to go; most probably they will come over! It would be great to see them after a long time.
I had been to the movie "AmritaDhaare" this weekend - the movie was ok - nothing special about the movie, but we got to talk with the movie director. The hero and heroine were cute. I met an old friend of mine at the movie. Overall, it was good.

That's it I guess... yeah I forgot to mention that I registered for the course for the next semester... hope to blog again soon...

Daylight Saving Time

2005-11-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

I have really not understood the concept of "Daylight Saving Time". People in most of the states in US have to turn their clocks one hour ahead on the last Sunday in April and one hour back on the last Sunday in November. Daylight Saving Time (DST) was first introduced in 1942 in order to conserve energy. Later on, after the Second World War, states were given autonomy to decide whether or not to observe DST. Since then, all the states except for Arizona and Hawaii follow DST.

I really do not get it why people need to change their clocks in order to conserve energy. I personally feel that putting on lights or changing the working hours can be done based on the amount of light; based on your instinct and intuition rather than on clocks. Life needs to run based on instinct, not solely depending on time. What I have observed is that almost everything here in US depends on time or on direction. There is very little space for anything else. Of course, time is important - you need to meet deadlines, you cannot afford to waste time! But that does not mean you have to let time dictate your life. You should be in control of your life and how you spend the time! I really feel that turning the clock is not the way to go for conserving energy! The only thing that changed for me is that I got an extra hour to sleep on Sunday ;). And of course, instead of getting dark at 7, now it gets dark at 6.

The other concept is that of direction - if you need to go to any place, it is explained in terms of directions - go North on road X for 1.2 miles, turn East at the intersection with road Y, go for 4.8 miles ... and so on - that is a good concept; there are very few chances that you will lose your way.

Some things you like, some things you don't - got to live with it!

The International gems and jewelry show

2005-10-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

I had been to the International gems and jewelry show at the Dallas Market Hall here in Dallas. This show for the Fall season started off at Washington on August 19, has been through many cities and reached Dallas from October 21-23. I went to the show on the last day, with the hope of finding something good to shop for my trip to India in December.

I heard about the show through one of my friends, who was very enthusiastic about the event - I could understand that - she being a girl (I do believe that girls like jewelry - whatever the form they are in!) and she is visiting India this December too. So, I thought I would give a visit to the show too - but I went there only after confirming that there was good stuff there - my friend went there on Saturday; after getting here feedback and looking at the stuff she had bought there, I decided to go for the show on Sunday.

It was a very chilly Sunday - the temperatures being in the early 50's I guess, dropping suddenly from the usual 80's and 90's. We went to the show at around 3 in the afternoon - well we took our time to get up in the morning, sorry, afternoon ;) - had lunch and then left for the show. As expected I found that there were a large number of Indians at the show. Of course, there were Americans too, but they were going for the large, gaudy gems! Well, I do not like them!

I went to the section where they were selling semi-precious stones (I cannot afford to buy the precious stones like ruby or diamond yet - I am still a student!). I loved some of them which I thought would look good (I think I am quite good at choosing stuff) - so I ended up buying garnet, amethyst, mystic topaz, corals shaped as roses and jade shaped as leaves. I also bought a pair of ear-rings that looked cool.

Garnet has a variable color averaging a dark red.

Amethyst is a transparent variety of crystallized quartz that typically is purple or violet in color.

Mystic Topaz has a mysteriously shimmering sparkling beauty - I bought the ones that have a darkish shade.

Coral roses are pinkish white stones, carved from the corals. Jade leaves are greenish stones carved out in the shape of leaves. These two together would form a great necklace!

I spent about $150 for all the stuff! Hope it is worth it!

Massive shopping for Groceries!

2005-10-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

We had been short of groceries for two days and we had to go to Walmart for shopping - everything from milk and curds to vegetables were out of stock at home! Finally we went to Walmart and did a massive shopping! Can you imagine how much we spent on our groceries? It was $211 - the highest we have spent after moving to this house I guess. If I convert this to rupees, it will be a bit too much - we usually do not use conversions - if we do that, we can never afford to buy anything I guess!

Yeah - we did buy quite a lot of stuff - more in quantity as well as variety - but I guess this was a bit too much! We bought fruits - bananas, apples, red and green grapes, pomegranates, oranges and what else! And a variety of other stuff too - cookies, biscuits, cakes , chocolates and such fun stuff to washing liquid to deodorants to cough syrup! Well, I am not going to write out the whole list of things we bought - that would be really boring! Anyway, we had fun buying all the stuff! Thanks to my friend for taking us shopping!

Delicious Weekend

2005-10-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

The weekend was great fun - we were involved in cooking great stuff on Saturday. We prepared "Aloo Sabji Bonda" (Potato curry stuffed in flour and fried in oil). It was really tasty and reminded us how easily we could have got it done if we were at home. Anyway, it was worth the effort - we spent about two hours preparing the stuff! In addition to that we also prepared the ambrosial "Carrot Halwa" (Sweet dish prepared using carrots) - it was heavenly! And to give the final touches, we had these dishes watching "The Pirates of the Caribbean" - the movie was great, especially with the great food we had! I really forgot to get the snaps of these dishes - will make it a point to take snaps whenever we prepare something good.

Anyway, we were quite bored to cook anything on Sunday - so went out to have food. We went to "Masala Wok" - an Indian restaurant... I had "Fried Rice" there - that was good too. It had been quite some time since we had been out for dinner - the short outing was fun. Here are some snaps we took there:

This snap we took outside the restaurant - just to show the "name" of the restaurant! ;)

We are inside, waiting for the food...

Hmmm.. our food has arrived and I have already savoured half of the fried rice!

We are done and ready to return home! Other than this, I had to read up on some papers, since we have to submit a report this week! Overall, we had fun this weekend!

Hail Netflix! Hail Blockbuster!

2005-10-12T16:48:00.000-07:00

I became one among the many of us who subscribe DVD's from the movie rental stores such a Netflix/Blockbuster. I had known about this earlier, but the idea appealed to me now because of the acute shortage of movies to watch! It is difficult to imagine this - Bollywood is not able to produce movies at the rate we are consuming them. And we are not "supposed" to download new Hollywood movies - sometimes we do that as well - but few are available. And the small set of Kannada movies we got has expired recently (meaning we have watched all the 20 odd VCD's we had). A deadlock situation in the producer-consumer problem --> and the solution I found for this is to get another source of movies - namely, a rental store such as Netflix.

I got the idea from a friend that you can subscribe for a free trial of 15 days. That's what I am doing now - we are trying to optimise this - get 3 movies, immediately rip them and send them back the very next day, if not the same day; so that we can get the next set of movies! And watch the movies slowly, as and when we have time! We have already got about 18 movies in the queue - most of them Hindi.

The hard disk of my laptop is filled with movies - so I am now writing them out into DVD's so that I can leisurely watch the same movie again some other time. Movies have become the main source of entertainment and pastime for us. Well, if we are not busy with studies or if we are not out playing, it is almost a hundred percent sure we are watching some movies, with popcorn/icecream/chips/some other food in our hand! And as a contingency plan, I think I will subscribe for Blockbuster after this 15 day trial! Hail Netflix! Hail Blockbuster!

Down with Fever

2005-10-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

After a long time, I was down with fever. It's been quite some time - I guess I've not fallen sick for about a year and a half now. Well, finally I did fall sick - but just for a day. A slight bout of fever invaded my body - fever, accompanied with cold and cough. As they say, an adaptive mechanism, fever is the body's reaction to pathogens; it attempts to raise core body temperature to levels which will denature, debilitate or kill the pathogens. I guess my body was so full of pathogens that they had to be killed - and for that I had to get "FEVER".

It has been three days now and I feel better - the fever was there just for three days or so - the second day was real bad. I was sleeping the whole day - the sleep was so intense that I could not even manage to differentiate between dream and reality - my mind was full of dreams - I just answered a phone call and within two minutes, I was having a dream! I guess I was continuously in a state of REM (Rapid Eye Movement) which is a period late in the sleep cycle in which the brain and body become active, increasing heart rate and blood pressure and it is most often associated with dreaming, for most dreams occur during this period. Well, I had a lot of dreams - I can just remember that the dreams were all good - many of them being fantasies!

Getting fever has its own bag of gifts - you get to miss school or office - I did get to do that! And you get looked after as if you are a king - well, I missed out on that - I am not at "home", you see. Anyway, it was a pleasant change from the routine - I can say this only because the fever did not affect me much and did not last longer!

After a long time!

2005-10-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

I've not blogged for quite some time now. I've been very busy these days. Work here at my internship is quite hectic and the research work at school also kept me busy. I submitted a paper for a conference last weekend - haven't worked in my lab much since then. But, I had to read up some papers for the other course I have taken! Overall, a very busy month! So I thought if it is going to be this way, I better start blogging again... else I may never blog as it will remain this way for a few more months.

Well, what have I done this month other than the stuff I said above... I have called up most of my friends back home - just spoke to them after a long time. It felt really good. I have gone and watched some Kannada movies in the theater - yeah, Dallas has shown some Kannada movies recently. Also, I got my cell phone - so I am supposed to be "mobile" now! I attended a career fair at school. That was good. Hopefully, my resume will get noticed and will land me a good offer.

My professor wants me to continue at school for my doctoral degree. Well, I do not want to pursue PhD as yet... I would like to work for a year and maybe then get back to school. I have told him that, but I think the conversation on that has not yet ended... I will have to convince him that I do not want to go in for more school work as yet. Hopefully he gets it. Well, I guess that's it for now. I will try to blog more regularly starting today.

Feeling homesick

2005-08-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I blogged. Actually, I was kind of busy these last few days. Classes started at school. And there was the independence day celebrations last weekend. Things were kind of hectic at my internship as well.

These last few days, I have been missing home a lot. I really miss the good old days when I could just sit at home, talk to Mummy for hours together, chat with my friends on the phone for hours, go on a ride on my kinetic honda with my brother, just have a walk around, go and spend some time in a friend's place... those were such great days. I miss them so much now... These days I call up home almost every day. I want to go home soon and I really am worried how I will be able to come back after the visit (well, I do need to come back here, at least to complete my studies!!!)

I never knew that I would miss home so much... of course, I did miss home earlier... but I do not know what is wrong with me these days. I am even having second thoughts about my decision to come over here to study; maybe, I should have stayed back there and tried to get into IIM or IISc... well, such thoughts never came to me earlier - I was always happy and contented with myself. I am not even enjoying the way I should be enjoying things. The nostalgic feeling is so overpowering that I have no interest in anything these days. Of course, I do get on with the job and my research work. Hopefully that should keep me occupied till I go back home.

Nothing like "HOME SWEET HOME"........ I can say a hundred, no, a thousand times over.

New students arrive - and I miss home!

2005-08-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

The last weekend, I have completely been involved in cooking (I dunno why... but I feel like cooking something good every weekend - and I have my cooking turn on Sunday.. to fit in perfectly!) or in showing the new students who have arrived around the campus . Two of my friends arrived this weekend to my university for their Master's. So, I need to go around the campus with them, showing around the places and all that.

Of course, it is fun... but too tiresome in the hot sun. I have not been able to work much on my research this week. Hopefully, my professor does not question me about this. I have some results to show him, of course, in the worst case ;)

I do miss home a lot - I realise it more when I see these guys come in now... I am waiting for the time when I will be making a trip to Bangalore! I really miss everything back home!

Multiple Personality Disorder

2005-08-01T12:02:00.000-07:00

"Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)" or "Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)" is a psychological disorder wherein a person who is not able to cope with stress and pain he/she is undergoing, creates an alter/personality within himself/herself in order to be able to cope with the situation.

I saw the movie "Anniyan"...though I do not understand Tamil, I could get most of the movie. It is a well-directed movie and the portrayal of MPD in the movie is excellent. Of course, there are some action sequences which may seem specious, but think about it - this is not an art movie, it is a commercial movie for the masses - so such things are bound to be there.... ;)

"Tell me your dreams" by Sidney Sheldon is one other novel where MPD is explained in detail and the novel is gripping. Here the protagonist Ashley Patterson has three alters, one being hereself, the other a violent protector (Antoniette Prescott), and lastly a meek painter (Alette Peters) - the novel is really worth a read. The movie does take something from this novel, the protagonist in the movie, Ambi(aka Ramanujam), also has three alters - one is himself, the other a violent killer (Anniyan), and the last one a lover boy (Remo). The court sequences also closely folow those in the novel. This is one of the good movies in Tamil that I have watched. Really worth a watch!

A week begins again!

2005-07-25T01:25:00.000-07:00

The week begins again! Weekend was tiring - we shifted into a new apartment..... we had rented a truck... really tiring work. Think twice before you change apartments. We had the "haalu ukkiso" (milk) ceremony and photo session at our new apartment!

I had a meeting with my prof on Saturday, it went well, then I did some work in my lab. Yesteraday afternoon, we had almost finished the settling down process. So, we saw "Maine Pyar Kyun Kiya..." ! The movie is an average comedy.... sometimes you get irritated by the crappy jokes. But Susmita is good in the movie, Katrina is cute.

Today, I ordered lunch at office - they "cater" to the Indian needs - good Indian food for $5, brought to your office at lunch time, around 12 noon. They serve you three chapatis, two curries and a rice item - palav/lemon rice/something in rice! It is good. After having lunch, I am fully awake - was really sad as it was a new week beginning - a MONDAY! Now I feel a lot better.

It is the weekend.

2005-07-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

Oh! At last, the weekend has arrived... technically, in 14 hours, but it starts in about 6-7 hours for me. It is such a refreshing break from the monotonous work in the week. Get up early in the morning (7:40 is really early morning for me!), have a bath and get ready (in about 20 minutes), catch a bus, a train and a bus again and reach office by 9. Check mails, do some work, have lunch and finally head back home in the same bus-train-bus route. At home, have something to eat, go to the lab and do some work there, if you have some energy left, come back home, have dinner and go to sleep - by 11 (can you believe it? - sleeping so early!)

The same routine for 5 days and you will be waiting for the weekend - so you can get back to your own lazy life style which you enjoy the most! Weekends - get up late in the morning, cook something good or go out for lunch (great if someone gives a treat!), work in the lab if you feel like... watch some movies, go out and enjoy when you feel like.....! Weekends are real fun. But Sunday evening is so ominous - it brings in the threat of another week of monotonous work!

That too I missed the "Friday coffee - India" today! Friday coffee is a weekly event at the International Student Services in my school, where coffee and food from different countries are made available to students. I really missed the "samosas" and "sweets"...mmmmmmm..... I really had enjoyed the last time we had "Friday coffee - India". You know what, I never used to get up even by 10.30 in the morning to go to the "Friday coffee" events in my earlier semesters at school - it was too early for me! (I went to one of the "Friday coffee - India" events as I had a meeting with my professor that morning!). But now I get up early and am out of the house by 8.10! Look how times change... make the most of the time you have - enjoy to the fullest! You may be waiting for the weekend like me, sooooooooon..... - so enjoy when you can!

How to write unmaintainable code!

2005-07-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

I was reading an article on "How to write unmaintainable code!". The article was really well-written and extensive, touching on almost all aspects of making the code as confusing and ambiguous as possible, making use of the simplest as well as the most complex nuances available in the language and programming constructs supported there.

Well, but you know what, I have seen really badly written code, written by someone who has not tried to write "unmaintainable code"; in fact, the person was trying to write good, maintainable code! Some people do have a natural flair for writing unmaintainable code. We could add on several additional points to the article, by going through their code. Though it is worse than a nightmare for the person trying to maintain the code, or for someone trying to debug the code..., writing such code is real fun, especially when we make use of the subtle specialties provided by that specific language.

If some people do this for fun or for showing off their "flair" in programming, some people do this for sheer pleasure of letting out their frustration at having to spend their precious time documenting stuff - there are several ways for such people to have their share of fun - "Document only the details of what a program does, not what it is attempting to accomplish. That way, if there is a bug, the fixer will have no clue what the code should be doing" - this being one of the many ways to help release the frustration of a coder who feels he is wasting his time in documentation.

I believe that writing unmaintainable code is a skill (some have it inborn... ;)) and people should have their share of fun doing this! God save the maintainers, though (hope I do not belong to this category of people) !

In a dilemma.....!

2005-07-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

Well, you know what... when you have two very good options... and do not know what to choose... you would feel it would have been better to have a single option! Now I am doing my internship at Cisco Sytems which will continue till Fall, and my professor has offered a TAship for Fall-Spring (he says it is tough to get TAship for Spring alone!) . I do not know which one to choose...! Now that I have just worked for 2 months... I feel I will continue at Cisco... but really, I would have been happier to be working at school. Well, I am in a dilemma - "A situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable and mutually exclusive"! As always, I go with the one I feel is right... hoping God will set things right for me...!

The Half Blood Prince.

2005-07-18T10:15:00.000-07:00

Hi,

Well, if you feel that Harry Potter is for kids... think again! Check out the new book - you may change your opinion!

I bought the new novel in the Harry Potter series - The half blood prince...! Well, in fact I had read the first 2 chapters on some website... someone had posted it 6 hours before the novel was released. I was intrigued by the first two chapters.

Well, as expected a very important character gets killed. And lots of stuff inside the novel - love blossoms between the people expected (against some beliefs, by other people posted on various Orkut communitites!) Overall, the book was okay - maybe I will like it better when I read it again, of course after some time...

The book ends in a way... where you would feel you are expecting the next book to come outr sometime next week. I don't know how long it will take for JKR to rtelease the next one. That one would be fun, of course, if Harry doesn't get killed - you never know!