Karyeshu dasi, Karaneshu manthri;
Roope cha Lakshmi, Kshamayaa dharitri;
Bhojyeshu mata, Shayaneshu rambha;
Shatkarma yukta, Kuladharma pathni.
A fairly veridical translation would be:
A good worker like a house-maid; a good adviser like a minister;
Beautiful like Goddess Lakshmi; Land of forgiveness;
A caretaker like a mother; Great in bed like Rambha;
One with all these six qualities makes an ideal wife.
Anybody who reads this, in this age and day, without a second thought, would say "WTF"... or any other equivalent expression! A good worker like a maid? Come on now... if you want a maid, go pay someone to do the work for you. Beautiful? What about the "not beautiful" ones? I did not want to use "less fortunate" here... Is beauty everything? All forgiving? yea, whatever the husband does, just forgive... Caretaker like a mother? Get a nurse, buddy... Great in bed? no comments there...
Wow... Come on now, if this is not male chauvinism... what is? If there was a very similar "shloka" for an ideal husband, maybe then I would not be so irked and so vociferous about my thoughts on this... Some people may raise objections, saying that the "shloka" does not actually mean to demean women, it should not be taken in the literal sense! Even if we go by the essence of the "shloka", I would still say that the "shloka" should have talked of "the other partner" in marriage than specifically the "wife". Whatever is expected of the wife, should be expected of the husband as well. This just speaks of the age-old male dominance still prevalent in our society... I get so worked up about these things sometimes that I could just rant on and on...
And I was appalled to read the comments on the blog! I really could not believe it. More than half of the comments were condoning the "shloka"... some even saying "The Sanskrit "shloka" holds for not only women of ancient society, but also to the modern women, because newly married couples are getting divorced within few days of married life." These words coming from the younger generation Indians... I was really shocked that we have so many people who still prefer to stay in the Utopian era. Though things are improving, people like this will just pull us back... not allowing us to move ahead.
I am not a feminist activist... I am more an "equal" rights person. I am not against the ancient Hindu philosophies. In fact, I am devout, God-believing Hindu. I am just saying we should have a sense of what is right and what is not... we should be more open. I am not one of the conservatives... I am a liberal, and proud of it! I do not go bashing up someone just because I do not agree with them. Everyone is free to his own opinion, as long as it does not harm others.
I believe that one should never force one's thoughts on a person, just because of one's convictions and pre-suppositions. Every person has the right to have his/her own views and opinions. "Equality", irrespective of sex, race, religion, language, region, sexuality... should be the aim and people should get over their prejudices and close-mindedness. OMG... do not even get me started on what's happening in Mumbai right now... uff... I guess I am going off in a tangent! Let me end this write-up with a small deliberation that keeps clawing into my mind... is India taking small baby steps forward slowly, while running giant steps backward?
13 comments:
Well.. first of all, we need to blame it on the translation from samskrit to english. The ideal meaning for dasi would be someone who devotes her life to work; to work in such a way that it pleases one and all and that she loves to do her work :).
Caretaker is again incorrect in this context. A mother goes to all lengths to make sure that her child is not hurt in any way.
Anyway to me, the ideal wife is someone who gets what i say, who returns my love n affection and does not spend on useless things in life :P
Okay... it all is very contextual? come on now... "dasi" is someone who devotes her life to work? Is that an ideal wife? Okay, then there should be an equivalent "dasa" for an ideal husband... right? Yea, you are right, a mother is different...
What I wanted to say was - it is incorrect to say that a woman needs to have all these qualities to be called "ideal", when there is no equal demands being made from the man...
lol... "useless" things... the term is quite relative... hahaha... anyways, as long as you do all the things you expect from your "ideal wife", it's all good, I guess?
Rather than calling anti-feministic, why not consider this as preaching...? Preaching, if u ask me.... is one of the oldest professions....why...because its easy...With regards to a wife, this is one of those delusional dreams that every man craves for in a woman...Now, it is totally true for the fairer sex too believe me....but just not highlighted...He needs a good maid, a minister, beautiful, forgiving...ah....what an ideal environment to be in...& what is it that he does?...preach?
BTW...am not sure about the old Rambha...but the 'this age' one is a bit fat...may be a good fuck...who knows?
Wow... who is this? 'm very interested... lol!
Anyways, "preaching"? to whom? to the women to be like this? maybe was relevant in ancient times! I'd say "anti-feministic" in this age.
What do u mean when u say that the fairer sex believe u too? What do they believe? If he believes that he neeeds all those, she also believes that she needs a good maid too, minister, beautiful... and what not!
Rambha? there u go again... "fat"... yea maybe she is for a n actress (not that she is a great one either)... but again, that may be a bit derogatory!
U know me....but let me remain anonymous... :)
anti-feminism may also ( & usually) includes some negative highlights in a woman...which is why I am not leaning towards it....being considerate?...may be
Hmmm... I feel anti-feminism is just one way of discriminating against women... expecting a certain set of attributes for an "ideal" one... when there is no parallel drawn for the other sex! Anyways, if you, belonging to the educated, forward-looking younger generation, think like this... I mean I feel that you are just trying to pacify yourself that what it says is fine... :) Maybe what I said about going backwards is true?
Well...firstly, education, forward-looking (don't know what u mean here) doesn't make much of a difference...its just the way one thinks....
Secondly, this is a controversial topic...there is a fine line between the two...with completely different ideologies....
Thirdly, in relevance to the above, there is nothing to be pacified about in the vedic verse...it depends on how u see it...u consider it to be anti-feministic...me not so much....some say not at all...So, will leave u to decide...;)
Would be interesting to see more thoughts though...
Hmmm yea... as I said, everyone is entitled to his own opinion... :) As long as no-one else is harmed, we can choose the way we want to live our life... :)
[In reply to #2]
well.. at the time that this shloka was first written, an ideal wife meant all what is provided as an example. Over time, society evolves and so do individuals and relationships. The perception of an ideal wife is now different than what it was to our parents and to their parents and so on...
Also, consider the timeline that this was written. It was a period when every man wanted to have a housewife :) and arent these all qualities a housewife should have? And what's the harm in dreaming about it?
hmmm yea... it might have been relevant at THAT time... but the whole reason I was shocked was that so many people in THIS day and age still expect these qualties...
Avi... Lots of discussion going on between you and anonymous.
Well... What I feel is, the subhashitha you mentioned doesn't hold good in this century. I agree with your views. We can't say everything is true what the olden subhashitha mean.... Example manusmrithi....
I agree that watever may be the spirit of the shloka, the idea sounds quite odd for this age and time...
Its more like the deliberations of a whacko.. :-)
shaant gadadhari bheem .. shaant ... anonymous is a really interesting entity :P
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